Accidental Support

[Whirl]

I wanted to share something that happened to me yesterday and makes me really happy to think about. 

I don't know if y'all remember several months ago that there was this guy that asked me out & thought I was flirting with him cause of this emoji 😈

Well, he's back. And this time he asked another friend of mine out while making her very uncomfortable. With such great pick-up lines like "I used to think you were pretty" and "I thought you were a lesbian, you dress like one". Then for some reason he low-key started talking shit about me? Just a bunch of weird comments trying to put me down because I study a lot? And don't date?

My friend defended me and I just love her so much for it. She literally told him "Whirl is a bichota (popular latam term for an empowered woman, like boss bitch) that's focusing on her studies and her career. She doesn't need anybody and certainly doesn't need you."

I'm not out to her yet, but when she told me about the situation I just felt so supported and loved as I am. There's nothing to fix, I'm great this way! Yes, I am a bichota 😌

Has this happened to anyone else? Is this a sign that I should come out to her/the rest of my friends?

[NVLL]

probably? i feel like your friend would be very supportive of what you identify as. but at the end of the day its up to you and outing yourself is optional until its necessary [clearing up confusion etc]

[Whirl]

On 9/16/2022 at 11:34 PM, sevan said:

probably? i feel like your friend would be very supportive of what you identify as. but at the end of the day its up to you and outing yourself is optional until its necessary [clearing up confusion etc]

That's true! For now I'm taking it slow and coming out to a couple of close friends at the time. It's so silly, but I'm scared that by coming out I'll be "missing out" on ever having a romantic relationship, even though I don't even want one in the first place. The good thing is that there's no rush

[The Newest Fabled Creature]

I went through an 'accidental support' incident too, though a much different one. My mom started having the "what's your dream person?" conversation with me, and I told her up-front that I don't think I'd really want to be with anyone (I'm not out to her as aro though), and I did say the whole entire, "But if I did meet someone they'd be this, or have that trait, yada yada yada" to lighten up me having said that, but despite having tacked that on, she seems rather supportive and said that it's okay if I didn't want any of that. Now, I don't know if she thinks my desire will change in the future - hopefully she does not - but I think she relates because of her own life experiences regarding relationships, and so... it was nice having her approval, although I know I don't need it to live my life how I want.

[HelloThere]

1 minute ago, The Newest Fabled Creature said:

I went through an 'accidental support' incident too, though a much different one. My mom started having the "what's your dream person?" conversation with me, and I told her up-front that I don't think I'd really want to be with anyone (I'm not out to her as aro though), and I did say the whole entire, "But if I did meet someone they'd be this, or have that trait, yada yada yada" to lighten up me having said that, but despite having tacked that on, she seems rather supportive and said that it's okay if I didn't want any of that. Now, I don't know if she thinks my desire will change in the future - hopefully she does not - but I think she relates because of her own life experiences regarding relationships, and so... it was nice having her approval, although I know I don't need it to live my life how I want.

Whenever I get asked that, I have no idea or I just list the qualities of a nerdy friend, or focus much more on one’s personality than looks. Generally looks are distracting and make it just so much harder for that person to be taken seriously.