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Am I aroace or too young


Guest C.C.
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So I’m 14 and a cis boy and a “late bloomer” I’ve recently started growing and i could tell something was missing in the puzzle of growing. Like my sexuality puzzle piece was lost so god just put another piece there (if that analogy makes sense) I hear discussions about how hot this one celebrity is and I guess i see why she would be hot but apparently there’s supposed to be something other than “wow, she’s got admirable features”. I don’t know anymore. I typically find girls prettier than guys and I’ll be “crushing” on certain girls (and sometimes guys) but whenever I actually think about if I wanna date them I’m like: “I guess it would be fun to hang out with someone and get to enjoy food with them and play video games, but I can’t see myself holding their hand or kissing etc.” the thought of touching someone disgusts me. I’ve noticed that besides looks, I see almost everyone the same way I see my parents. I can find a girl really pretty but if she offered anything more than to start a Minecraft world together or draw I’d say no and kinda cringe. Marriage seems like a nightmare to me. All of these things I tell my parents and they just seem to roll their eyes and tell me that “I’m too young” and “I’m just straight” being called straight hurts for me because that would imply that I wanna get married and have kids and all that junk. All I actually wanna do is travel the world in an awesome van with a few cats and online friends. Am I “too young” to know.

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I was 15 when I started questioning if I was aro, 16 whenever it started to keep me up at night. 18 when I started to feel comfortable with the label.

So, you're not too young, but the journey (questioning/identifying/what-not) definitely can take time. It's a cop-out answer, but truly no one is able to discern whether or not your aro/ace/etc. except for yourself. And even those labels can be fluid, and exist on a spectrum. 

It sounds like you could be ace. But. You definitely do not need to have all the answers right now, they'll come in time. 

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whatever label feels right go with it.nobody else's opinion matters.people never tell other people who are straight that they are too young so you're not to young to know.I know people who figured out who they are way earlier than you so if they are not too young neither are you.and you don't need labels to be valid. :)

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Guest The guy who made this post

Thanks for all the comments, my parents recently as in 10 mins ago said I was in a phase. I’m not emo but I’m guessing you know when ur in a phase and I can tell these are my real feelings

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I've posted about this before but I was around 13-14 when I first started identifying as aro, and now, at 25, I'm definitely still aro. Conversely, I've known people who were aro/ace throughout highschool and then suddenly got crushes in their 20's. Identity is weird.

It doesn't matter whether or not something is a "phase" and having a "phase" isn't a bad thing. We all change throughout our lives. And even if we don't change, the words we use to describe ourselves might. What's important is, does it matter to you now? Does being aroace feel authentic to you? Then you can be aroace. Maybe you'll be aroace forever, maybe not, but either way it's rude that people are disrespecting this part of you.

Also, traveling with cats and friends sounds awesome.

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  • 2 months later...
Guest Wynautbob

I'm way too young to even know what aroace means. I'm honestly probably just too young. But I find sex gross, and I don't ever feel romantic in any way.

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On 7/23/2022 at 3:34 AM, Guest C.C. said:

So I’m 14 and a cis boy and a “late bloomer” I’ve recently started growing and i could tell something was missing in the puzzle of growing. Like my sexuality puzzle piece was lost so god just put another piece there (if that analogy makes sense) I hear discussions about how hot this one celebrity is and I guess i see why she would be hot but apparently there’s supposed to be something other than “wow, she’s got admirable features”. I don’t know anymore. I typically find girls prettier than guys and I’ll be “crushing” on certain girls (and sometimes guys) but whenever I actually think about if I wanna date them I’m like: “I guess it would be fun to hang out with someone and get to enjoy food with them and play video games, but I can’t see myself holding their hand or kissing etc.” the thought of touching someone disgusts me. I’ve noticed that besides looks, I see almost everyone the same way I see my parents. I can find a girl really pretty but if she offered anything more than to start a Minecraft world together or draw I’d say no and kinda cringe. Marriage seems like a nightmare to me. All of these things I tell my parents and they just seem to roll their eyes and tell me that “I’m too young” and “I’m just straight” being called straight hurts for me because that would imply that I wanna get married and have kids and all that junk. All I actually wanna do is travel the world in an awesome van with a few cats and online friends. Am I “too young” to know.

It seems as though you experience aesthetic attraction towards mostly girls. and some guys. The "crushes" you experience would be called a swish. Find more information here: https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Aesthetic_Attraction. It seems as though you might be touch repulsed or touch averse, which is different from being asensual.

 

Some types of attractions: 

Ah, wait, that imgur link is broken: 

I am unable to upload the image, it is too large. I cropped it, but for some reason the full image is coming. 

I shall simply list them here, then: 

there are two categories of attractions that I will be mentioning here, physical attraction and emotional attraction. 

The three types of physical attraction are:

Sexual attraction, Aesthetic attraction, and Sensual attraction.

The three types of emotional attraction are:

Platonic Attraction, Romantic Attraction, and Alterous Attraction. 

 

Each of these types of attractions are a spectrum, and it is possible to lack all sorts of attraction. 

Also, not liking a concept of the type of an attraction does not necessarily mean you lack that attraction, i.e: for example, not liking sensual acts or being averse to them does not necessarily mean you are a sensual. Same goes for all of the other attractions. 

Edited by Storm_leopardcat
Adding extra information due to being unable to upload an image.
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