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Guest AnxiousAF

Hi everyone!

So I feel a bit silly because I have always thought I knew myself (at least a bit!) and please take this question as respectful, really, I am just admitting my ignorance. Because while I think I am familiar with the meaning of other LGBTQIA+ spectrums, I have never deepen the Aromantic one.

Now, I have done a lot of thinking about myself and I don't understand if I am just weird, a loner or something else! I mean, I love being weird, but I also don't like not having answers(lol). So I started reading online but there are so many articles and some of them contradicts each other, so I thought I should just admit my ignorance and ask the question I can't find the answer for online.

So, I like the idea of love stories in books, movies, tv-shows, and such, but I do not like the idea of having a romantic relationship myself. I feel perfectly fine with myself, I feel zero pressure about finding love or romance. But, as I said, I like love/romantic relationship if other people experience it, so this confuses me.

Does this make me aromantic?

Again, I really really really hope my question is not offensive, I swear it wasn't the intention!

Thanks in advance! :)

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Has there ever been a person where you've wanted to be in those relationships with? Like, if you watched a show with a romance element and went "oh yeah, I'd love to do that with [insert person]" then you are probably alloromantic. If not, or there's a caveat to it (such as you only wanted to do this with someone you've already formed a strong emotional connection with), then you may be any flavour of aromantic.

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Guest AnxiousAF
19 hours ago, alto said:

You could be!  The question is, do you feel romantic attraction?

Hiya :3

I'd say no? I am almost 37 and I have had only 1 relationship in my life and it was 10 years ago, other than that I have had only one night stands I can say, so defo not asexual. But I really don't miss having a boyfriend, like at all. I really don't care about that, I wouldn't want that kind of involvement, "I am my own soulmate" kinda thing. That's why I was wondering. I mean, not that I necessarily need a label, but it would be nice to understand IYKWIM :)

Thank you!

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Guest AnxiousAF
18 hours ago, Deltalorian said:

Has there ever been a person where you've wanted to be in those relationships with? Like, if you watched a show with a romance element and went "oh yeah, I'd love to do that with [insert person]" then you are probably alloromantic. If not, or there's a caveat to it (such as you only wanted to do this with someone you've already formed a strong emotional connection with), then you may be any flavour of aromantic.

I have had a boyfriend but like 10 years ago, after him only 1 night stands and I am totally ok with that :'D

Mmh when I watch a show and I like that couple I like the couple, them, not me being with them if that makes sense. Like I love that people love each other, I can "ship" couples, and I am defo not asexual, it's just the idea of me having a boyfriend, I don't know, I don't feel the need. But I come from a culture where it's weird if a woman my age isn't married and got asked why often (horrible, I am tired of these questions), and I am like, I am enough for myself, stop asking :'D 

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You can still like romance movies and ship people/characters, it doesn't affect your romantic orientation. If you don't feel romantic attraction (meaning this wanting to be in a romantic relationship or to do romantic things with a specific someone) or you feel very little of it, then you're aromantic/arospec (in the aromantic spectrum). Defining yourself as your own soul mate sounds aro for me, as it is a common feeling between the community. Also, the fact that you've only had one relationship in 37 years and that you don't feel the need of getting a partner. I would say that you're aromantic, but you're the only one who can say if that label fits you.

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On 6/7/2022 at 12:20 PM, Guest AnxiousAF said:

So, I like the idea of love stories in books, movies, tv-shows, and such, but I do not like the idea of having a romantic relationship myself. I feel perfectly fine with myself, I feel zero pressure about finding love or romance. But, as I said, I like love/romantic relationship if other people experience it, so this confuses me.

Does this make me aromantic?

If you feel the label fits, then by all means use it.

I'm aro and I love fictional romance, but feel lukewarm at best about actually having a romantic relationship. As Arsenic said, it doesnt affect your romantic orientation. Lots of arospec people enjoy shipping and fictional romance.

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On 6/7/2022 at 6:20 PM, Guest AnxiousAF said:

So, I like the idea of love stories in books, movies, tv-shows, and such, but I do not like the idea of having a romantic relationship myself. I feel perfectly fine with myself, I feel zero pressure about finding love or romance. But, as I said, I like love/romantic relationship if other people experience it, so this confuses me

 

On 6/8/2022 at 4:05 PM, Guest AnxiousAF said:

I'd say no? I am almost 37 and I have had only 1 relationship in my life and it was 10 years ago, other than that I have had only one night stands

 

On 6/8/2022 at 4:05 PM, Guest AnxiousAF said:

I really don't miss having a boyfriend, like at all. I really don't care about that,

 

On 6/8/2022 at 4:05 PM, Guest AnxiousAF said:

I mean, not that I necessarily need a label, but it would be nice to understand IYKWIM :)

 

You sound very, very similar to me, with the exception of gender and culture. I dont know how many times I've been asked why I dont have a SO, and the answer used to always be "I dont feel the need." Now I have a different answer. I don't feel the need because i'm Aromantic.

Maybe you dont feel the need for different reasons, the only one who can know that is you,

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