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HELP! Do I need experience to confirm my suspicion?


Normii
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I only recently learned about the existence of aromanticism. I have always felt like the odd one out, because I have never had a crush or any kind of romantic feelings towards anyone ( I know personally or a celeb or sth. like that). It was also a revelation for me to find out, that ppl actually have those kind of passionate romantic feelings described in songs and movies. There is also more stuff, but I think you get the idea.

So I have the suspicion that I'm aromantic, but Im also only 18 years old. I have never been in a relationship, meaning 0 experience (because I was never interested), even though all my friends have already dated multiple people. So I don't know if I just lack the experience and maybe it comes with time ?? or maybe I'm a little too young to decide something that you see over time..? I dont know, I am really confused and unsure about everything. Any opinion could help :))

Sorry for the long monologue (+ english is not my first language, so sorry if this is a little messy.)

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One of the great things about being human is you can consider whether you want something without needing to do that thing, based on your understanding of the world and your understanding of yourself.

I suppose its the old 'how do you know you don't like it if you haven't even tried it' that parents use to get their kids to eat some vegetables. Which only works because 5 year olds don't tend to tell people to drink molten sulphur.

Now maybe in the future you do decide you want to try romance, get with someone or some people and see what it is like, but that isn't needed to decide whether it is something you want.

The big question is what do you want to do. If you find your experience of the world is not fitting with how people think about romance then sure, try on aromanticism, see if it fits. Whether you have given romance a go before isn't necessary for that. But more important than that is deciding what you want to do with your life. Do you want to give romance a try, if so look for it. Maybe you would be interested but some things put you off, well look for a relationship where you can set boundaries to not do those things. Or maybe you don't want to, then don't.

 

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I asked myself a similar question with sexual attraction, and tried sex.  Looking back, I wish I hadn't.  It would be cool to still be a virgin.  In my opinion anyway.

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Absolutely agree with @roboticanary here, entirely correct.

I'd also add that the people around you getting into relationships & experimenting with sex are generally doing it because they also think they might like it, we all make choices, every experience you have living by your own choices & healthy boundaries is not wasted time. There isn't a deadline to figure out who you are, & this time you spend maybe questioning it a bit isn't wasted.

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