Crushes? Yes or no?

[Angrboda]

Okay, so I've heard a lot of people say that aros don't get crushes, but that got me thinking. I was under the impression that being aro mostly referred to the lack of romantic attraction (E.G. being in love & crap.) But isn't having a crush supposed to be quite different from being in love? I consider myself aro. I've never had romantic feelings or been in love, nor have I ever had any desire to. However, I have, on occasion, met or heard about a person & thought, "Hey, they're really interesting & we have some fun stuff in common." I was attracted to them felt kinda silly & exited at the thought of them. That sounds very much like what others seem to be describing when they speak of having a crush. Or does having a crush only count if you're specifically daydreaming about dating, giving flowers, using pet names, falling in love, & getting married? What do you guys think? How would you define a crush? Thoughts? Opinions?

 

EDIT: Not sure if I'm explaining this very well. XD

Edited April 16, 2022 by Angrboda

[alto]

I draw the line at wanting to kiss.  If you want to kiss, it is romantic attraction.  If not, it is platonic.

[YokaiDisarray]

I'd usually consider crushes to mean like romantic attraction, but there's also platonic crushes

[Hellishfish]

I use the word crush liberally. I'm an allosexual aromantic so crush is what I would use to describe somebody that I want to get to know for the sake of physical pleasures like interesting conversation and cuddles. In the realm of romance, words can have a loose meaning since the whole thing is entirely subjective. If you're crushing on someone in the way that YOU crush on people, then they're a crush. It's up to you.

[Apex]

It depends on how you define "in love." Someone can say that they're in love when they have a crush, but falling in love can also be a separate thing that happens in an established romantic relationship. Being in love is typically seen as deeper and more serious. They're overlapping imo, but still their own things. Both are romantic.

Sometimes crushes are casually thinking that someone is attractive and wanting to be close to them. Other times crushes can feel profound, with the heart-pounding and daydreaming and "butterflies" and stuff. What you described could be a more casual crush, but it also sounds like a squish (a platonic crush) to me. Like others said it comes down to how you personally differentiate between romantic and platonic attraction (and the gray areas in-between.) If calling your feelings romantic feels off, or if the thought of being in a romantic relationship with the people you're attracted to feels uncomfortable, then it's more likely that your feelings are platonic.