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grief


Guest laney
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Guest laney

im hoping this might resonate with someone. i think im aro, i don’t think i can see myself being attracted to anyone in that way or having a relationship because of it, and recently i’ve been kind of sad about it. i hope this doesn’t come across the wrong way but i was hoping maybe someone feels the same. I’ve been feeling this deep grief how I desperately want to have those feelings, to love someone so much you would move the earth for them; but i don’t think my heart and mind are wired to do that. I’ve been feeling very down about it because of that and i was wondering if anyone has any advice or other…. even watching my favorite shows and the couples on them have been making me feel sad that i don’t think i’ll experience that kind of connection. i hope everyone has a great day, and again hopefully i’m not alone in feeling like this- it’s just been weighing on me lately. 

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Lots of people feel like that

Romance gets a lot of praise and attention and it is not unreasonable to want to experience that, or to feel dissapointed to not feel that. I felt that a bit as I was coming to terms with being aro.

As for advice, not sure. I found the things I can experience and enjoy and focused my effort on them which seems to work. 

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You can love someone more than anything and still not want to be in a romantic relationship with them.  Love is not restricted to romance.

Don't be sad.  It's ok.

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Coming to terms with being different then the norm can make you very sad, I’ve went through a fase like that a few years ago. It seems like no one will truly ‘get’ you because they feel things you don’t or can’t feel. Personally I felt very lonely back then as a lot of things were happening in my life at once and I felt overwhelmed.

In my case it really helped to talk to my parents about it, who are super sweet and caring people who did (and do) their best to be there for me. They might not ‘get’ me, but they listened to me complain and showed me they love me.

Now not everyone has my parents, so my advice would be to find someone you can trust, if not a family member then a close friend or a school/work councelor. Ask them to just listen to how you feel, not provide a ‘solution’ but just really hearing you. If they are family or a friend that might be extra hard for them but it is important that you are heard first. After that you can give them some time to think about what you’ve told them and go from there.

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I think many people going througe this if they realizing they may be in the Aro spec (i found it out a week ago and still going through it) its totally understandble to want this Kind of experience but like others say's Love doesn't have to be "Romantic"

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