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March 2022 Carnival of Aros - call for submissions

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Hello. For March this year it is my first time hosting the carnival of Aros, a monthly blogging carnival based around aromanticism and related topics.

The topic I would like you to consider this month is stability. Whether that is in life, relationships or communities. One of the things I have heard argued about romance and about marriage in particular is that it has benefits for stability, both for the relationship as well as for society, raising children, etc. So I thought we could turn that around and think about stability from an aromantic perspective.

Here are a few prompts which might get you started:

Thinking about stability:

  • What does stability mean to you?
  • What does a stable relationship mean to you?

Self Stability:

  • How do you cultivate stability in your own life? For example your own financial stability, or keeping a stable mental state. Are these things linked to your aromanticism?

Stability in aromantic relationships:

  • For those who would like some form of queer platonic relationship, is stability something you value in that relationship and if so how do you cultivate it?
  • If you would like long lasting friendships, how do you go about keeping them? Do you worry that your friendships may not last if that friend enters a romantic relationship?
  • For those who would like non romantic sexual relationships, is stability something you desire in a sexual partner/partners (e.g. a long term FWB). If so how do you maintain that stability?
  • If you are raising or want to raise children outside of a romantic relationship, what do you hope to do to give those children a stable environment?

Stability in aromantic communities

  • How do we grow stability in aro communities and what do you do to help that.
  • How do we make aro spaces (such as this carnival) resilient to the loss of a small number of people

Feel free to use these or go off in any direction you want.

Entries to this carnival are due by 31st March. If you have something to submit after this just let me know and I will add it to the roundup when you get it to me.

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I don’t have a blog, but I noticed on the february topic that it is ok to just type away here?

Let’s see.
The idea that stability is rooted in romance and marriage seems very old fashioned in an age where about 2/3rds of my students have parents that have separated. But somehow it is still seen as the norm. You NEED a partner, you NEED children and you NEED to buy a house, or you might as well grab a cardboard box and find a bridge to sleep under. I exaggerate of course, but a lot of people feel this weird need to comply to this model, or they will have ‘failed’ at life.

I don’t want a relationship or children, and buying a house is something I briefly looked into. But it seems impossible to do that by myself so I gave up on that. I don’t feel bad about it though. I like my flat and I share a community garden so I do have my ‘outside’.

Stability for me personally is having a lot of friends I can go see a movie, play games, or have dinner with. But who will also get me groceries when I get sick. It is having a job I love and that provides me with enough financial stability to feel secure.

Friendships evolve and I have lost one or two friends who dropped me as soon as they found a partner. But since I am 35, most of my friends now are around that age or older and have a ‘stable’ partner, so I make a point to befriend their partner as well. I mean, we both like the same person so we must have a lot in common right?

It is nice to know my friends have my back, and I have theirs. To me, that is the most important part.

Edited by Nix
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