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The term "friends with benefits"


Cassiopeia

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4 hours ago, James said:

While I take issue with some connotations of FWB, I find the term pretty useful in relating the allosexual/aromantic experience to people I know won't misconstrue it.

I don't especially like it.
Though can be about the only way to describe something sexual and non-romantic to allo allos.

 

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As an aroace, I'm not particularly likely to have a FWB, but yeah, I don't like the term. Firstly, because benefits is implied to be sex, which makes it even harder to avoid implying sexual stuff with non-sexual language, and secondly, because the way most FWB seem to work, they really aren't actually friends. They're generally either 'acquaintances who have sex', 'romantic partners who don't want to admit it', or a consolation prize for someone who really wants romance. (I have heard so many allo/allos saying "he turned me down. Should I get into a friends with benefits relationship with him?")

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2 minutes ago, Ettina said:

As an aroace, I'm not particularly likely to have a FWB, but yeah, I don't like the term. Firstly, because benefits is implied to be sex, which makes it even harder to avoid implying sexual stuff with non-sexual language, and secondly, because the way most FWB seem to work, they really aren't actually friends. They're generally either 'acquaintances who have sex', 'romantic partners who don't want to admit it', or a consolation prize for someone who really wants romance. (I have heard so many allo/allos saying "he turned me down. Should I get into a friends with benefits relationship with him?")

Very much agree.
Especially with the second part which is effectively about allos using the term "friend" to mean something else. Including things which might better be described as "romance lite" or "romantic secondary".
Personally I'd prefer terms like "sexual friend", "sensual friend", "cuddle budy", "play partner", etc.

Almost wonder if some of these involve people who are alloromantic and demisexual. Thus require something like a romantic relationship to feel sexual attraction.

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