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Questioning


Magi Girl
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Ello! I'm only in 9th grade but I think I'm aroace,but I feel like I'm too young. I've never had a crush or dated,and I have no desire for a romantic relationship. I don't even have celbirty or fictional crushes. Ever since I've had the talk I've been repulsed by s*x. Am I aromantic or jsut not ready.

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Hi! While I can't flat out tell you if you're aroace or not, I will say that there isn't some magic age you have to reach to be 'valid' in identifying as aro or ace. 9th grade is not at all 'young' to be labeling your attraction or lack there of - many teens are already dating in 7th and 8th grade, and getting strong crushes in 4th/5th/6th grade. You also don't have to 'try' dating or having sex to decide you don't want it for yourself. So if you find the term aroace useful in describing your current experiences with attraction and want to use it, then 'you're aroace'. And if you eventually stop finding the label useful, you can discard it. I'm aroace and in my early 20s, and I first started thinking about the possibility in early high school as well. It's quite possible the lack of attraction and repulsion will simply stay. And if it doesn't, that won't mean you were immature or 'wrong' now, just that the way you experience things and the things you want for yourself changed over time, which is normal and fine too. So just go with what feels comfortable in the moment, there's always time to reconsider things as you get more data later. I personally found that more useful than dwelling on what orientation term might maybe someday fit me better in theory (which, I definitely did at first when questioning if I was aro).

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16 hours ago, Autumn said:

So just go with what feels comfortable in the moment, there's always time to reconsider things as you get more data later.

Exactly what Autumn said!! Labels help me describe what I feel to other people, but I try not to act in ways to fit the confines of that label. Do what makes you happy, and just try to notice different feelings and emotions you have. I’m only in 12th grade myself, but I’ve found that using the label helps others understand where I’m at!

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So long as you are in control of yourself don't worry about whether you feel too young to identify with a particular label.

Just so long as you are building a life that you want to live it is fine, if at the moment that life does not include romance then don't include romance.

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