My ex can’t accept my identity, a rant

[Voidspace]

CW// swearing, invalidation, rant

I broke up with my boyfriend because I’m frayromantic (flux). He proceeded to say I just had commitment issues, my identity wasn’t valid, and he needed better taste in people. Then he called me a bitch, said it was ok because I call myself a bitchboy, and justified all of it because he was mad. Then, he completely switched his attitude and became nice again… WTF

 

sorry if that makes no sense but yea

[mewix]

Aw that's mean even if he disagreed that's no way to treat someone calling them names

Maybe part is projecting and seeing that as something completely unthinkable in his mind. I think the whole commitment issues thing is over used anyway sometimes it makes sense as a concept other times I think it is used to shame someone for their choices/wanting to make changes etc. just because it conflicts with theirs. 

I can't say ofc because I don't know them at all but I hope the rant helped you a bit. 

[Just a Bear]

wow that sucks. what a dick. I mean I guess he feels betrayed by a breakup but the things he said were very not okay. 

[roboticanary]

On 8/14/2021 at 8:18 PM, Voidspace said:

Then, he completely switched his attitude and became nice again… WTF

oof, that reallydoesn't sound great.

One thing I found very invalidating during my one (miserable failure of a ) romance was after it ended my ex very suddenly became kinder, more talkative. Looking back I think it was a sign that they didn't think my desire to call the relationship off was valid. They believed if they just started being nice again I would have some magic realisation that I was completely wrong, I had lost the greatest thing in my life and would come back begging within a week.

It didn't happen.

Hopefully he is going back to being nice out of genuine care but when I read that I couldn't help but be reminded of my experience.