Jump to content

Overthinking aromanticity?


Guest Slowdowwwwwn
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest Slowdowwwwwn

I don't know if this is a common experience, but discovering I'm aromantic/asexual is something that is relativity new to me still and sometimes my brain is kind of astounded by it...it's like all the awkward pieces of my life and relationship to sex and dating make so much more sense now. 

But another part of me overthinks! And wonders if by choosing to identify as aromantic and asexual, I am influencing my own thoughts and actions to "bend" to what it "means" to be aroace (or at least my perceived definition of it). 

For example: 

I see romance on TV and think about how pointless it is and how much I lack understanding for romantic feelings. But then I overthink and wonder if I'm saying/feeling these things simply because I have finally realized "I'm aroace". 

Not sure if that makes much sense to people but I was wondering if you had any thoughts or could relate. It's preventing me from coming out to just about anyone because I'm worried I'm a total fraud about my identity. I really would like to share with my best friend and feel like I shouldn't. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think that's a pretty normal experience. After all our thoughts do affect our feelings. Maybe it would help you to reflect back on your thoughts and feelings before you knew about aromanticism? You can also read the thread about early signs you were aromantic on this forum. Maybe you will recognize something there

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I really get that. Aromanticism gave me a new lense to look at my past experiences, one I can use to connect many things and feelings I wouldn’t have before, but once you adopt it, there’s no real coming back. It’s the “what came first: a chicken or an egg?” kind of situation, you don’t know if you feel a certain way because you’re aromantic, or if identifying as aromantic gives you certain feelings.

But I have to say that what matters the most is whether or not being aro makes you feel happy, comfortable. It doesn’t matter what came first, if at the end of the day aromanticism is the best way for you to understand yourself and your life.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I relate to what you say. I found out only a few months ago about aromanticism.

It explains so many things and in the same time, since I know about it, I wonder if I don't take it as an excuse to hide something or to do not accept that there is something wrong with me that I don't want to see.

I think that we need time to really know who we are, I have to say that to have found out about aromanticism made me feel included in a community for the first time of my life, knowing that some other people are like me, go through the same things I do, live what I live. It is really helpful to know that there is nothing wrong with me and there are many people like me all around the world. Somehow it is a relief to know that there is a reason why I have never been in love, I have never been interested in relationship,...

As @Kalliehas said the most important is for you to feel comfortable with the way you identify yourself, you have to feel happy being who you are and not who people want you to be, if you are not sure yet if you are aro or not there is nothing wrong with that, take your time to found out and if after a while you change your mind and realise that you are not then it is ok.

Just think about you, what make you feel good, comfortable and happy

I hope this helps you. 

 

 

 

  • Like 1
  • Thanks 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...