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I discovered asexuality and aromanticism in the fall and have been lurking around on here and aven since then. Posting here somehow seems less intimidating. I was able to identify pretty quickly that I am asexual. Shortly after this discovery, I shared it with my therapist, who knew about asexuality and was happy for me. Since then I have been trying to sort out where I fell on the romantic spectrum. I have always hung onto the idea that I would like a romantic relationship someday. I have always imagined what it might be like to kiss someone. I just love watching romantic movies, watching TV shows with a romantic plot and listening to romantic songs. I'm in my late twenties and have never been in a romantic relationship or been that interested in dating. Until recently I think I have always assumed it was because of my emotional trauma or because I was shy/socially anxious and have always had a hard time making and maintaining friends. I've always felt like I needed to have more friends to have a solid sense of what that felt like, in order to better recognize something as being different from friendship. 

Fast forward a couple of months and I was sharing about the one and only time I had something that could have developed into something more. I was trying to make sense of it and the complex confusing feelings I couldn't name. I think more than anything I was trying to convince myself maybe there was some other explanation. I did not like the idea that I could be aromantic, it made me feel somehow broken. However, the session ends with them saying, this is a great topic to transition into aromanticism. So I feel like this is a pretty big sign that I am on the aromantic spectrum. Since then I have slowly been more accepting of it and thought it was time to connect with some other like-minded folks. 

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi, I totally relate to loving the "idea" of romance but not romance when I'm actually part of it. I love rom-coms and books etc and have had so many fictional crushes that I used to use that as an excuse for "oh I'm not aromantic, I'm just waiting for the 'right' person". I realized I liked the theory but not the practice lol. Welcome!

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