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Uncomfortable in a new relationship


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im just here to ask some advice. i'm sort of entering a relationship with my best friend. it started as flirting that got less and less jokey, and i started to like the idea of being with him. like i'm a teensy bit attracted to him (mostly sexually). I liked the idea of us being more affectionate. he's said he wants to date and i said i wasn't sure, but that hasn't stopped us from flirting nonstop.

but i'm starting to feel uncomfortable. it feels like so much pressure, i'm not sure i actually like him that much, and every romantic/flirty gesture feels forced. I feel like we're moving too fast for me, and i don't know if i'll ever really want to date him. i'm just not that into him. 

maybe this is just me being awkward tho, or having a certain overwhelming idea of what Relationships are.

I'm trying to decide if i should back out (it might hurt him, which i don't want, but i gotta be honest) or just ask that we slow down. does anyone else have advice for this?


Edited by hermi1e
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Oof. Yeah, been there. I think this might actually be part of why I have a habit of avoiding dating in my friend group like they're radioactive.

Have you discussed aro stuff with him?

I know for me flirting is an intellectual exercise--it's witty banter and repartee, word games and puns and innuendo (and out the other)--often more than an emotional exercise. Maybe, if you're the same way, the intellectual giving way to the emotional is part of what's bringing this up?

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  • 4 weeks later...

My advice is to be honest with him. If you feel that things are moving too fast, tell him to slow down because you want to take it slow. Tell him the truth, that maybe you are not so into him to be in a relationship. If you are feeling uncomfortable then tell him that. It is important to know yourself first, why are you uncomfortable, the situation you are or the person? Is it because he has developed feelings and you may not? Do you want to be in a relationship or not. It is completely fine to not want a relationship, there are more ways to show affection than being with someone. If you need more help, you can ask me in dm ^^ but overall honesty is the best friend.

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