getting triggered by content with suicide.

RoboticHumanoid · November 15, 2020

I've struggled with suicidal ideation a few years ago and for the past few months. now, when I'm not currently in a suicidal state, I've been getting triggered by suicide discussion/content about it. And by triggered, i mean the mental health sense of a negative emotional response. and of course it's not consistent. i don't know why it's happening. it's weird. does anyone else get that or something similar?

Edited November 15, 2020 by RoboticHumanoid

cyancat · November 15, 2020

hi, yeah, i understand this absolutely.

um... so a couple of years ago, i was in a pretty bad state of mind of suicidal ideation where i also didn't like. realize i was particularly suicidal? i eventually stopped getting those thoughts. well, less stopped and more - so i tend to experience depression in cycles. it's generally pretty mild? until i dip and suddenly i'm struggling to stay awake because i just want to sleep alsdjf;; and then sometimes - like you said - when i read/hear suicidal content n stuff it mucks with my brain and conjures all those lovely self-destructive thoughts that i've been repressing for the past couple years or i just completely nope outta there whether mentally or physically because i don't think i can deal with it. and like you said! it's not always consistent. sometimes i can be perfectly okay, other times i want to flip outta there right then and there.

i think, though, other people's experiences may remind us of our own, and all the things we were feeling at the time. i can't say why some things may remind us more than others - sometimes there's no real rhyme or reason. sometimes i'm triggered by experiences that are pretty far away from my own, and yet i still feel that itch? regardless, it seems like a typical response, and is kinda why i tend to be pretty scarce on vent places, since i know it'll create some pretty nasty response feelings in me.