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Does pure romantic attraction, without any platonic attraction, exist?


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Posted

Maybe it's because I'm demiromantic, so when I get romantic attraction, it's an addition to the platonic attraction that was already there, but I find I can't really conceptualize what romantic attraction in a pure form would feel like. Is it possible to be in love with someone without also wanting to be their friend? 

Posted

That's a really good question, I'm not sure.  I think it's theoretically a thing? Bc some people get crushes and date but like....they don't seem to actually like eachother as friends at all? But without some sort of platonic basis it seems unlikely for those kinds of relationships to last particularly long (in contrast, often when people get married they say they're marrying their best friend,  bc there's a friendship aspect to their relationship).  But it's really hard to be sure bc attractions are so nebulous to define.

Posted

I would say it does based on the fact that people can begin dating and be romantically attracted to people they are not friendly with, for example, people they've only briefly spoken to on dating apps. I think in the case of successful relationships, platonic attraction does eventually occur and likely runs alongside romantic attraction. 

I also think it's kind of dependent on how you define platonic attraction, because if its "desiring friendship or a close emotional relationship" with someone, I don't know if that would happen if you've already developed a deep romantic tie with them? I.e. if romantic attraction leads you to becoming very close, would you necessarily desire closeness on other terms. Especially in the case of a fling or a romantic relationship that simply isn't a major factor in your life or something all-encompassing. 

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