MyChemicalQPR

I recently remembered a song I was trying to write when I was like, 13, so of course I was trying to imitate tween pop, because that was all I knew at the time, which meant it had to be romantic. The story was essentially, "I have a crush on you, but I know this would never happen. Oh well, it's fun to think about. Happy song." It's almost like I didn't actually want people to reciprocate the """"crushes"""" that other people told me I had at the time.

As an ace I'm cringing and I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

While I'm comfortable with playing characters who aren't aspec, my two bards are both aro specifically for the fun of messing with the trope. One of them is very extroverted, confident, and friendly, and in doing my darndest to portray that when I am not so much those things, it apparently it comes off as accidental flirting sometimes. It's nicely in character, really, as they're totally romance oblivious unless it's spelled out for them. Fortunately my ttrpg friends are all queer, some of them also aspec, so there aren't any issues over my or others' aspec characters.

Oh, maybe I've been using the term too lightly? I kind of use it for anyone I want to befriend to so... Every friendship has a squish. Then again, I don't tend to feel that drive mildly. Either I'm daydreaming about friendship with someone, or I don't care about them more than the average stranger. It's rare for me to get jealous over people. Definitely not a squish requirement. If someone didn't reciprocate then yes, I would like to get over the feeling as soon as possible. Interestingly, I'm more okay with unrequited romantic feelings, in the rare event that those happen.

Maybe it's because I'm demiromantic, so when I get romantic attraction, it's an addition to the platonic attraction that was already there, but I find I can't really conceptualize what romantic attraction in a pure form would feel like. Is it possible to be in love with someone without also wanting to be their friend?