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aroscorpio

QPR and aromatic question

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Hello! So, in my last post I was told about queerplatonic relationships, and while some aspects of it sounded nice, I’m still off-put by the idea of a committed ‘Relationship” with anyone. Idk, maybe I just have commitment issues, but as weird as this may sound, I desperately want to NOT want it. Like, when I was figuring out if I was aromantic, I really wanted to BE Aromantic, if that makes any sense. What do you guys make of this? Why does this ‘finding myself’ crap have to be so c o n f u s i n g ?

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I feel the same. I'm on again, off again whenever I think about QPRs. I also really like the fact that I'm aro (now that I actually know that about myself), and I love thinking about how I don't have to tie myself to anyone, or combine my life with someone else's. That being said, I don't want to be completely alone either. It's a strange state of mind-- I want good friends, and I think maybe ideally I'd like someone who was a little more than a friend, maybe someone who understood my relationship to relationships and accepted that. I'm aroallo so really the dream would be to find someone down for a FWB-but-still-like-really-good-friends relationship? I feel you on the not wanting commitment, though, and I'd really hate to label any sort of relationship... 

Shit's confusing, I'll drink to that :Yespapo:

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9 minutes ago, Queasy_Attention said:

I feel the same. I'm on again, off again whenever I think about QPRs. I also really like the fact that I'm aro (now that I actually know that about myself), and I love thinking about how I don't have to tie myself to anyone, or combine my life with someone else's. That being said, I don't want to be completely alone either. It's a strange state of mind-- I want good friends, and I think maybe ideally I'd like someone who was a little more than a friend, maybe someone who understood my relationship to relationships and accepted that. I'm aroallo so really the dream would be to find someone down for a FWB-but-still-like-really-good-friends relationship? I feel you on the not wanting commitment, though, and I'd really hate to label any sort of relationship... 

Shit's confusing, I'll drink to that :Yespapo:

Yup! Although I’ve never really minded the idea of being alone - I think I more just would like someone to spend a lot of time with that shares my own interests and also enjoys spending time with me. Maybe just more of a “best-best friend”

I don’t know though, it’s hard to say. 😂

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I feel very similarly, and honestly? That's ok. You don't need to label a relationship. You can just like... Be close friends with someone, if that's what you want. QPRs are great and an important term for people who feel that it's useful to them, but to truly dismantle amatonormativity we need to accept and recognize that you don't need to label something as a capital-R Relationship in order to have intimacy and loyalty. 

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

I feel very similarly, and honestly? That's ok. You don't need to label a relationship. You can just like... Be close friends with someone, if that's what you want. QPRs are great and an important term for people who feel that it's useful to them, but to truly dismantle amatonormativity we need to accept and recognize that you don't need to label something as a capital-R Relationship in order to have intimacy and loyalty. 

Yeah! I usually don’t like the idea of a committed ‘relationship’ even if it is a QPR, but maybe something, like, more than a ‘friendship’ I guess, where we really care about each other and every now and then want one on one time, but not all the time. And no kissing or sexual intimacy of any sort, either. If that makes any sense. 😂 Maybe the best word would be ‘bromance’ but with a woman. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

Edited by aroscorpio

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I feel like I can relate at least partially to this. While I enjoy QPR relationships, I don't like gestures of commitment because they feel too romantic. With the exception of maybe a bracelet or something that says "best friends" haha. That said, internally I might feel intensely loyal to the person but again, certain commitment stuff just feels too romantic which feels gross to me. But that's just me personally. For me a QPR is a very intense friendship. Nothing about it is romantic whatsoever. And the only 'life partner' aspect of it is just the emotional part of it. 

Edited by Planet
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