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What does demi and grey and cupio all mean?


Guest ABitConfuzzled
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Guest ABitConfuzzled

I see them everything and if they mean what I think they mean, they don't make sense to me. I get that all A orientations are a spectrum but, if they're what I think they are, they don't seem like they belong on the spectrum.

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Demiromantic : can only feel romantic attraction after connecting with someone.

Greyromantic : can only feel romantic attraction under certain circumstances, OR/AND feel a romantic attraction that is note intense, sometimes to the point that it is hard to say if this romantic attraction or not.

Cupioromantic : someone who don't feel romantic attraction, but who still want a romantic relationship.

 

Fir why cupio is included, you define aromantic by feeling or not feeling romantic attraction, not by the attitude you have towards romance. So cupio being included makes perfect sense for me.

 

For demi and grey, see it like this : romantic attraction is a spectrum that goes to feeling romantic attraction as society expect you to do (maybe more), to not feeling in it at all. Between both side of the spectrum, you have the grey area. Some people in the grey area will connect more with the alloromantic people. But some other will connect more with the aromantic people : b because most of the time, they don't experience romantic attraction, because their experience is close to the aro experience than the allo one... So, speaking about an aro spectrum to let the door open fore these people.

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Guest ABitConfuzzled
1 hour ago, nonmerci said:

the attitude you have towards romance

So, by your standards, all the toxic men in the world who're taught that romance is for girls are aro.

 

1 hour ago, nonmerci said:

by feeling or not feeling romantic attraction

Why would it be anything else? That's like saying "You consider nuns based on whether they've been ordained(or whatever the nun thing is) rather than how often they have sex."

 

Aromanticism is a state of being, not a certain mindset. It's not a moral choice or something like that. Its who you are. Not how you feel currently. Cause then you can argue that someone who is emotionally drained and isn't in the mood for romantic things is aromantic because of the "certain circumstances".

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5 hours ago, Guest ABitConfuzzled said:

So, by your standards, all the toxic men in the world who're taught that romance is for girls are aro.

What? I never said such a thing. In fact I said exactly the contrary? As I said  eing aromantic as nothing to do with what you think about romance.

I really dont understand how you could have get that from my comment...

 

5 hours ago, Guest ABitConfuzzled said:

It's not a moral choice or something like that.

I never said it was. I said it was about the attraction...

 

Really, I feel like you take all I said and turned i it into what you wanted me to say to start a fight...

 

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4 hours ago, Guest ABitConfuzzled said:

So, by your standards, all the toxic men in the world who're taught that romance is for girls are aro.

If that makes them unable to be in such a relationship and as such potentially discriminated against, then yes, they are aro (I wouldn't like masculinists coming here like a swarm though). But, the thing is romance is not just about expressing feelings and gifting flowers. Even the most irredeamable masculinists value things like weddings, fidelity (not only in a sexual way), raising children with their loved ones, protecting their wife like cavemens and things like that. In a masculinist mindset romance is very important to express their true masculine self. Girly romance is for girls and Mascu romance is for boys they could say. No romance at all makes you less of a man(TM).

4 hours ago, Guest ABitConfuzzled said:

Why would it be anything else? That's like saying "You consider nuns based on whether they've been ordained(or whatever the nun thing is) rather than how often they have sex."

Nuns are not suposed to not feel sexual and romantic attraction (although some of them do, of course) because this is about dedication to god. It's a sacrifice. And as such "I will not offer sacrifices to the Lord my God that cost me nothing" 2 Sam 24:24.

Haha, what an anarchist way of arguing isn't it ?

But anyway, the aro comunity is not filled with nuns and toxic mascs because this is a comunity for those who feel they need it. They dont. And some demi/grey and cupio certainly do.

I do.

 

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Guest MoreConfuzzledButIt'sCool
3 hours ago, nonmerci said:

I really dont understand how you could have get that from my comment...

I did slightly miss read your comment. I was taking the "you" as meaning me, not the general "you" but still. Cupio doesn't fit by your standard(which us my standard too). Because they're attitude towards romance is they want it but realistically they physically can't feel romance under any circumstance.

 

3 hours ago, John Rando said:

If that makes them unable to be in such a relationship and as such potentially discriminated against, then yes, they are aro (I wouldn't like masculinists coming here like a swarm though). But, the thing is romance is not just about expressing feelings and gifting flowers. Even the most irredeamable masculinists value things like weddings, fidelity (not only in a sexual way), raising children with their loved ones, protecting their wife like cavemens and things like that. In a masculinist mindset romance is very important to express their true masculine self. Girly romance is for girls and Mascu romance is for boys they could say. No romance at all makes you less of a man(TM).

Nuns are not suposed to not feel sexual and romantic attraction (although some of them do, of course) because this is about dedication to god. It's a sacrifice. And as such "I will not offer sacrifices to the Lord my God that cost me nothing" 2 Sam 24:24.

Haha, what an anarchist way of arguing isn't it ?

But anyway, the aro comunity is not filled with nuns and toxic mascs because this is a comunity for those who feel they need it. They dont. And some demi/grey and cupio certainly do.

I do.

 

You misunderstood. Nuns were the first thing that came to mind was nuns and it was irrelevant to the aro conversation. I was saying that not being romantically interested in the people around you is different than actually being aro just like how thinking you're a nun just because you don't have sex doesn't make you actually a nun. Logical fallacies and such.

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  • Momo locked this topic

This post is locked - it's going off topic and getting into territory that's explicitly against the rules:

On 4/4/2016 at 12:56 AM, Blue Phoenix Ace said:

f. Judgements of other users
Making judgments about other users, especially about the validity of their sexual or romantic orientation, is strongly discouraged. We are here to figure ourselves out, not to put each other in boxes.

A general reminder that this isn't the place to argue about whether someone is or isn't aromantic (or any other identity). I'd normally link to the AUREA website for definitions but their website seems to be broken at the moment. For others later though:

https://www.aromanticism.org/en/glossary

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