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AroThroughMyHeart

More Repulsion to Romance after I found out I was Aro

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I've always loved Romance growing up and was such a disney fan, hopeless romantic etc. When I got into my first (and only) relationship and realized I was opposed and bothered by everything to deal with the relationship, I was heartbroken. Finding out I was Aro helped with this broken feeling but I still truly loved romance! Well I've been identifying as Aro for a couple years now and I've noticed I'm not as fond of romance anymore. Being Aro really opened my eyes to amatonormativity and how many works contained romance that simply didn't need it. All of this to say,  I enjoy action parts of a movie a lot more than the, seemingly , unnecessary romantic sideplot that quickly turns into the only plot. I don't know, I just kinda miss freely loving romance.

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I can relate. I always loved romance in fiction, though a bit upset about some weird ships sometimes and to not see friendship more valued. But since I discover aromanticism, it changes a bit. I am more aware of amatonormativity, and more hoping for non-romantic relationship, less for uneeded romance. Also, I stopped saying things like "love is beautiful" when I see characters kiss (mI always said that as a kid when people kiss lol). Discover aromanticism changes my view on romance, and so the way I see it in movies and shows.

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It's odd and interesting to me how our relationship with our identity can change how we interact with the world and our relationship with other aspects of how our identity presents. Like accepting being trans can often set off really bad rounds of dysphoria, it makes sense to me that accepting you're aro can change your relationship with romantic content, ideas, and actions.

It can definitely be annoying to have that happen, though. I really understand missing something that used to be a part of you. Finding a new way to express yourself or interact with these storylines might help. For example, I do a lot of aro headcanoning now and thinking up what ifs and such behind unnecessary romantic subplots and that helps making media with that in it more interesting and less frustrating to consume for me.

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i don't remember ever particularly liking the idea of romance, but now that i've experienced a romantic relationship and been identifying as aro for like 4 1/2 years, i'm much more aware of it and sometimes repulsed by it.  i guess..before i knew, when i saw or read romantic stuff it was like i couldn't relate yet, and i just didn't think much of it it, didn't notice amatonormativity.  now, it's like i can't relate, period, and i can't escape it, you know?  on a few shows, a character has done something nice for their friend whom they used to date, or hope to, and i wonder whether they did it out of true friendship or romantic attraction, like hoping to impress them and get (back) together with them or whatever.  because if that were the intention of anyone i considered a friend, i'd feel kind of deceived and definitely disappointed.  but anyway, yeah, i think it's different now for all of us.

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