Queen of Spades Posted July 9, 2019 Share Posted July 9, 2019 Hi, guys… Today I want to share a story, hoping to let off some steam. Also, I am rather confused after all that happened and I don’t know what I should do in the future, should similar things occur… I met this man back in January on a chess tournament. He is a teacher and he was in my country (different town than mine) as part of some program that involved teaching abroad for a year or so. We kept in touch after than tournament (became friends on facebook). Back in April, he once again approached me on the chat, and we had a very long conversation. We talked about this and that, played some online chess. A few days later we met up in my hometown to play some “real life” chess. But then, it happened – he confessed liking me (like a crush)… Now, I DO wish to have a life partner (whether he is aromantic or not), even if I am aromantic myself – but as many of you know, I need time to get to know the person, my kind of love is born out of friendship (the queerplatonic/alterous type and all). However, there is a serious reason why I could never consider this man as potential life partner: he is 48, while I am only 23, and well, I just…can’t. I explained to him that I could not do it because of the age gap, but told him I would really like us to stay friends, which was the truth. I really thought it could work, as we both speak German (he is a native speaker, I just like the language a lot), as we both share this great passion for chess… He seemed to understand it.. Everything was good for a while – we talked and played chess, like friends do… We did have two fights – he started them as it was hard for him to face the fact that I didn’t reciprocate…but then he apologized, saying it was not easy for him… We had a serious talk, and he promised no more fights… He told me my friendship meant a lot to him…and I believed him… But last night, he showed his true colours. We were having a normal conversation, and at some point, he told me: “My friend asked me what I’m doing. I said ‘chatting with my girlfriend’ “. Well, it seemed that despite my making it clear right from the start that we are friends and nothing else, he still somehow…insisted? I told him gently “I thought that we discussed…”, and then he got upset. He said some hurtful things, trying to imply I was a jerk for not reciprocating and so on, and chose to put an end to it. I wished him all the best. He never appreciated the honest friendship I offered him… He lied to me… He deceived me… He broke his promise…and my trust. Now I feel somewhat empty, somewhat anxious, too. What did he want from me? Why did he lie to me? Why didn’t he tell me from the start? Why did I trust him? What does this mean? If anyone ever gets a crush on me again, is it already a red flag? Should I run? 1 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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