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I've found a new approach to coming out that's more comfortable to me


Holmbo
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I've not come out as aro to many people overall. Most of the time the topic doesn't come up. But when I have it has always been by starting to explain the concept of aromanticism.

 

Yesterday a person I've recently got to know better told me he had a  crush on me. I decided to respond differently than I used to. Rather than to get into the terms I just said: I don't date. And then explained I don't have an interest in romantic relationships. Not until we had talked for a while did I mention the term, when he asked me if I was asexual.

 

I've decided I much prefer this approach to coming out since it's more about my choices than some uncontrollable orientation. And I wanted to share it in case someone else might be looking for a different approach too.

 

 

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16 hours ago, Star Lion said:

I always say that and then people respond with telling me that I’m smart for not doing so 😂 but I think the easiest way to come out in terms of aromanticism is to say “I don’t fall in love” because it leaves no room for interpretation

I suppose the most important thing for me to convey is that I'm content with being aro. I don't long for a romantic relationship. If one starts by explaining aromanticism, a lot of people will want to reassure, saying you'll find someone, or that maybe you can learn to love. But if I start by explaining it as my choice then they know I don't need reassurance or advice.

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On 7/6/2019 at 8:00 AM, Holmbo said:

Yesterday a person I've recently got to know better told me he had a  crush on me. I decided to respond differently than I used to. Rather than to get into the terms I just said: I don't date. And then explained I don't have an interest in romantic relationships. Not until we had talked for a while did I mention the term, when he asked me if I was asexual.

 

I did this until very recently...because I ended up in a relationship. 

 

But definitely avoids a lot of the terminology mish-mash.

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