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Anyone Need Help Or Someone To Talk To?


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I have always loved helping others with their problems but usually get too anxious to say anything out loud. So I thought to myself, "Why not go and see if anyone needs help online?", And that how I ended up making this topic. Anyone can reply on this thread, or message me directly. Also, my discord is @Not My "Kris"tian Server #7756 if you want to contact me there.


I look forward to talking or helping out in any way possible, so don't hesitate to contact me. ❤️

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  • 1 month later...

Thank you so much for offering! I'm a wee high school girl who recently made an account on this forum because I'm confused. If you are able to answer, I would so appreciate it. Thus beginneth the rant:


I need someone to talk to, mainly because when I told my mom I might be lithromantic, she said I probably had intimacy issues. And she's probably right. I recently learned from reliable Youtube Psychology videos (XD) that I probably have an avoidant attachment style, which means that I avoid love when it is offered, even if I wanted it in the first place. This is a more comforting explination for my fading crushes than "I'm lithromantic," because it feels less permanent. Like, if I worked through my childhood memories with Youtube therapy or something then I could start loving like a normal person, maybe. And there's something else that's been worrying me.


Can you become aromantic? Because I used to crush on people like crazy. Basically any boy I saw, i would fall in love. But in the last two years I got rejected by two of my crushes, I got my heart broken once, and my feelings faded when a guy reciprocated them. And now I haven't had a crush on anyone since then. A few weeks ago I thought I liked a friend of mine, but it was only because I thought he liked me. And then I told myself that I was going to get my heart broken, so I should stop liking him. And then I didn't like him anymore the next day. I'm probably overthinking, but the irregular patterns in my attraction isn't at all what I'm used to feeling. I'm worried that I've flopped away from being a hopeless romantic to being aromantic, or on the spectrum at least. I can't talk to anyone about it, though, which is driving me nuts. If you know if people can become aromantic, or stop being lithromantic, or generally how I can figure out my identity, that would be amazing. thank you so much for reaching out and listening.


Incidentally, I think it's funny when questioning, newbie people on these sites write multi-paragraph stories about their lives in a plea for answers. And now I've become one of those people. I guess it's because we have no one else to tell about our confusion, so we do it in the best place possible: online, for strangers, where everything we write is public and permanent XD. 

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I would say you might be lith. It also could just be avoidant attachment style. You don't have to have a specific answer for what you feel, no one really knows everything about what they feel. You can change or feel differently. It is possible to become aro, especially if you have events in your life that lead to it. I don't think that that you've changed, you have may have been on the spectrum and just never noticed because there were never really any instances where you would realize. One place where i find is very helpful to look through is https://twitter.com/MyUmbrellaUK

Having a sexuality should not be seen as a way to weigh yourself down as only one thing. It is common to change over time or as you have more experience, especially when you are on the ace/aro spectrum due to the many different definitions there are for the many different types of love and peoples reactions to relationships. You should never feel like if you call yourself lith or anything you would have to stay that way forever. Also, how you feel is a thing that many people think, so your not alone. I hope this helps at least a little, and feel free to message me again if you need to ask anything else, or if you just want to talk ((:   

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Thank you so much, Krispy! It's comforting to hear that I'm allowed to change and that other people feel the same. I didn't know that its common for people to change. I still hope that someday I'll have my orientation figured out, but thank you for letting me know that i don't necessarily have to ?.

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