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kwah! kwah!

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so there's this person who I've felt kinda weird towards for the past like, year. or more. in secret. don't tell :ph34r:


basically, like, it's definitely not a squish. and it's definitely not romantic crush. so WTF is it. there's nothing else it could be! 


so it's got to be like, an awkward AF mix between the two. 


the perfect experience of being quoiromantic! in "crushing" form. ugh. 


1) anyone else get this before?


I've had "quoi" feelings like this before. and it's annoying 'cause, well firstly 'cause it's WTF. but also, 'cause, it behaves as attraction "should" behave, despite the fact that my clearly romantic feelings that I do get are undeniably demi in behavior. 


2)  how does it make any sense that I have sexual attraction which is normal in its timing, aesthetic attraction which normally behaves, squishing which normally behaves, and even a weird hybrid between a squish and a crush which normally behaves, yet I only have romantic feelings after the ship sinks (and has time to be overgrown and house eels). except for that one time, when it so happened to be on my closest friend, who of course wouldn't return the feelings, and I couldn't handle it, so it literally sank the ship itself. To really hurt me. fuck being demiromantic. (not literally tho please ew)


3) I'm pretty sure I'm not a normal demiromantic. please reassure me of what reality is, even if reality is that I'm a special snowflake's special snowflake, I gotta know. 

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I'm no expert, but a mix between platonic and romantic feelings sounds like alterous attraction. Maybe look into that if you haven't already. Otherwise, I don't really know.

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I'm here to be completely no help. No experience with demi, but from 2) it seems to suck, especially with romance's late appearance (only after the eels move in). Is the romantic attraction based on closeness to the person or just time, I mean does romantic attraction show up when you know someone for a long time without a particularly close connection?

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