Synthetic Adrenaline

I had to have so many talks with him about not moving to my country. The crunch came was when he was trying to be mushy and saying I love you after sexting and I was privately exploding with frustration because I wanted to go play some rapid chess. He just kept talking and talking about his feelings and I got more and more annoyed and just thinking can I PLEASE go now? That was the reality check I couldn't ignore.

Here we are. It's a series of songs I wrote to vent various turbulent emotions after I rejected someone. To cut a long story short...I wanted a bit of casual fun and he desperately wanted a serious relationship. I was honest with him many times but he escalated to saying I love you and talking about moving to be with me. NOPE. In hindsight I should have seen the signs but my lizard brain thought 'mmm deep voice and sharp cheekbones' and ignored the fact that he clearly wanted serious. I felt gloriously free afterwards but also very guilty for messing with someone's emotions. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLioSl7MsydvOmEPXzjSHAC-cVF4Us0A7E

I'll make a playlist hold on :)

I love it! Dreamy.

I got quite a few 'Hey! I just wanted sex not a relationship!' songs too. Looking forward to listening to yours

I never wanted to get married because 'what about my alone time? I like my freedom!' I wish I had realized earlier that wanting sex doesn't mean wanting a relationship. I had someone move across multiple time zones for me only for me to realize that being in a relationship was a giant chore and I was straining very hard to keep up my feelings for him. It's a decade ago now. I mostly don't think about it. But it would have been valuable if I'd understood that having a working endocrine system doesn't mean you want to live with someone or have a serious relationship with them.

I find romance makes for great drama in fiction but in real life I just end up feeling caged and wanting my freedom back. Really not into mush either - not having to say I love you is the best.

I usually just phrase it as 'I like my freedom'. You could also word it as wanting to focus on school and succeed.

Thanks!

LoloLOL I love this game! Never heard of it before. The person below me gets a pet monkey who screams curse words all day long.

I'm unsure if I belong here and am happy not to post if you feel that I don't. I don't fit the usual profile of an aromantic - I've occasionally had relationships and I write sexually charged songs sometimes...but I'm really not into relationships because I find that they always end up making me feel caged. Like clockwork every time around I just end up feeling stifled and wanting my singlehood privileges back. I think it relates to being an introvert - in a relationship I never feel fully alone and therefore never feel fully recharged. I'm also so very not into saying I love you or being mushy in any way. Not into QPRs. They're exactly what I don't want - a relationship. I would like to form more platonic friendships though because I live in the butt end of nowhere and don't have a whole lot of people I can have an interesting conversation with. I do need 'people time' sometimes and don't really get that other than a weekly ukulele club.