Lovebird

I'm really sorry.. I hope you can feel better. I'm always here if ya need it ofc.

It's really hard, especially if you suffer any sort of mental illness, to not let the loud negative voices outweigh the supportive positive ones. I have found practicing mindfulness to be helpful with this. It helps me to stop and take pause and realize "oh this negative voice hurts more, so I put more weight on it, but [look at all the people on this post who have spoken against the negativity. Remember these circumstances in the past where people accepted me without fight or argument or interrogation, etc.]." It's really an invaluable skill that will benefit you in so many areas.

I have also made the tough decision to leave communities before because they were harming my mental health even knowing there were good parts to it. If that's what you need to do, that's 100% something you should do. But please think hard about if you're making this decision to help your mental health (meaning, you will also work on replacing this space with good self-care - such as self-validation regarding being valid as an aro - and concentrated efforts to support your mental health) or simply to further punish yourself (falling into the negative spiral of "well, I'm not wanted here, so I should be alone and not near anyone so I can't bother them or upset them or ever hurt anyone ever again with my mere existence").

Best of luck. I wish you very well, and I hope you're able to accept that you're a true aro and that the random negative voices will become easier to shake off.

@hemogoblin I'm not sure, but it feels like both to me.