Nagito

On 2/19/2021 at 4:41 AM, Guest Ivee said:

Do you identify as being on the ace spectrum, the aro spectrum, or both.

I'm identifying me just as aromantic. I don't feel the need to use labels connected to other orientations.

On 2/19/2021 at 4:41 AM, Guest Ivee said:

How old you were when you first identified as being on the ace/aro spectrum  (whichever came first if you answered both to the previous question)?

For the first time I identified me as aromantic and asexual while I was 23 years old. Now, when I'm 24 years old, I decided to abandon the label of asexual because I don't feel the need to use it. I feel me better using so aromantic label.

You can tell to her that you want to buy it to stop picking nails and it'll help you. I don't think she'd search for meaning of wearing a ring on middle finger. In December I've bought an Atlantis ring, I'm wearing it frequently and literally no one asked about it.

I think it's a good topic to talk about.

When we're talking about orientation, there are mentioned just two: sexual and romantic (and exactly in this order). But when we're talking about attraction, there are also other ways how persons are attracting or not attracting, for example: platonic, alterous. To be honest, I feel like the other types are simply treated like "worst", "not significant", "they don't deserve to be called like that".

I'm identifying myself as aroace demi/grayplatonic and graysensual (without being sure who is attractive to me due to my conditional experience of it), and I'm more about to say: hey, but it's my orientation, not just attraction.

And what do you think about it?

I like some of romantically-coded activities, but only toward a person who is very close to me. I don’t consider hugs, holding hands or kisses as romantic but if someone would have an intention to place romantic feelings while hugging or kissing me, I wouldn’t like it, I think it’d be uncomfortable to me.

That’s really great you discoreved your romantic orientation. Congrats!

I started to doubt my orientation when I put an aromantic character in story I was writting and when I finished it, I couldn’t stop thinking that I can be aro (and I had a short auto-gatekeeping phase, if I can call it this way). I think it’s interesting to see that there are many, many ways to discover yourself.

Hi!

8 hours ago, ZCE said:

Random thing: I discovered the term aromantic before I discovered I was ace.

I discovered my aromanticism before asexuality, too.

Welcome!

9 hours ago, 2 Spirit Cherokee Princess said:

@Rony  Option added.  I don't think I've heard that word before, but I think I understand what you're saying.

’Neutrois’ is created of two French words: one which means ’neutral’ and other for ’three’. It’s literally ’third neutral gender’ and this term was created by H.A. Burnham in 1995.

One more INTJ here.

I’m neutrois. I’m using the term ’nonbinary’ because it’s easier than trying to explain to other person that I’m gender-neutral.

Hello!

10 hours ago, elmas said:

I must say I still find that confusing.

Yep, I also think it’s weird to be aro and like reading ’romantic’ fiction. I’m personally writting this type of fanfiction but recently I’ve started to put more aros as main character. Since always my characters were non-heteronormative.

10 hours ago, elmas said:

Have you ever contacted exes after identifying as aro?

No, because I’m transgender and I even don’t remember their names (they hurt me in the past so that’s better to me to don’t talk to them).

I think you can simply say you find having shorter hair more comfortable or something like that. You don’t need to tell them the real reason of your decision.

I’m not going to tell them. They have problems with accepting me as transgender person, so coming out as aroace wouldn’t be good for me.

Welcome! There are lots of persons who aren’t native of English (I’m not native, too) so don’t worry about mistakes or something like this.

For me it all of it sounds like aromanticism. But the only one person who can say you’re aro is you.

3 hours ago, Jayden_Alexander said:

I tend to skip out on romcoms and romantic books like Twilight because I know that I will not enjoy the romance

Me too! I think the worst thing in the world is when someone asks for some books, movies or series to read/watch and then there’s lots of things with romantic plot.

3 hours ago, Jayden_Alexander said:

Whenever I had a celebrity crush that I can recall (which was like once or twice) I only thought they looked nice and seemed attractive, but I never wanted to do anything with them

I have never felt romantic attraction to a celebrity but I’m feeling aesthetic and sensual attractions to one soccer player, for me he’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen and the only one thing I literally would do with him is to hug him and joking or talk with him. I don’t see myself doing anything romantic with him and for me it’s strange when people say ’I would marry’.

3 hours ago, Jayden_Alexander said:

I can't stand celebrity romance (I never have)

I know this feeling very well. I’m like ’hey, that’s great they aren’t posting anything with their partner, it’s their personal thing’ and then I feel very disappointed when they’re starting to do it. I literally don’t understand it and it’s ’a little’ annoying for me.

3 hours ago, Jayden_Alexander said:

I'm always scared that my kindness will be mistaken as flirting

When a coworker said to me ’you’re so romantic’ I literally stopped being ’nice’ in this meaning. I don’t want anybody to think I’m flirting with them.

Welcome! It’s never late to discover your orientation or gender.

I always knew I’m different but I didn’t know why. I discovered being aro this year, a few weeks before my 23th birthday, two or three months after discovering being neutrois (I’ve already known I’m nonbinary but I wasn’t sure which gender term fits me).

I was writting a story where the main character, Gabriel, was demisexual gay and he felt sexual attraction to his best friend, Bruno Henrique, and I was thinking what to do and I decided to make Bruno as aromantic gay. And there was a chapter in which Bruno reveals to Gabriel his aromanticism and Gabriel his demisexuality to him. I’m not sure when I finished this story but for a few weeks after it I was like ’what if am I aromantic?’ I needed sometime for it and thinking about my past relationships made me be sure I have never felt romantic attraction to my ex-partners, it was something other. Maybe alterous attraction? I don’t know. It was a strong feeling but not romantic and I feel that all of my gestures toward them were acted.

13 hours ago, Venuxxx said:

Wow niceeee to meet you Rony, good luck in your learning and if you have any questions about portuguese, maybe i can help you

Obrigade. Tô aberte para fazer amizades então não vejo problema qualquer para conversar um pouco, se você quiser.

É importante para se lembrar que usando coisas como Google Tradutor não é vergonhoso. É algo que muitas pessoas fazem mas não todos tem coragem para revelar. Eu pessoalmente tô usando-o durante escrevendo uma história se tenho dúvidas.

Oi!

1 hour ago, Venuxxx said:

I always felt different about relationships. Sooo I think I can be a aro.

It’s possible!

1 hour ago, Venuxxx said:

I feel very uncomfortable with other people's touch, I don't like to hug or kiss them.

Yeah, a part of aro persons are touch- and romance-aversed.

1 hour ago, Venuxxx said:

I used the Google translator hahaha

I’m learning Br-Portuguese since 2018 and I know the feeling of using Google Translator, especially while writting a story in this language or reading something, kkkkk. Now I’m having problems with code-switching because my brain ’turns-off’ sometimes (I’m native Polish speaker, English is my second language and Portuguese is third but currently I’m using more Portuguese than English, tbh) and then I’m mixing languages in one sentence.

5 minutes ago, babo_ said:

yes, i meant 'practical' as less stressful for me, since i wouldn't like to explain what aegoromantic means everytime someone asks my orientation, i'm not so patient  but of course, that's just my way. each person does what they feel more comfortable doing

I understand you! Well, when I said I’m neutrois I heard ’oh, another Tumblr gender’ (this term is older than Tumblr). In my opinion looks like it’s more difficult to explain microlabels in general because there are still people who even doesn’t try to understand. Well, if you want to, we can move to private messages.

3 minutes ago, babo_ said:

yeah, i feel the same! i want to look for more about it so i can understand my feelings better, but if someone asked me my orientation i would just call myself aroace, it's more practical

In my opinion, all the labels exist to pick the one to feel comfortable with and not to be ’practical’. But each person has their own point of view and I’m not going to argue, it’s obvious.

1 minute ago, babo_ said:

i see... thank you for clarifying! i think it describes me pretty well, i'll research more about it

For me microlabels are very confusing so I prefer to call myself just aroace, kkk.

1 minute ago, babo_ said:

that's interesting, i didn't know about this term! i'm still kinda confused though, please correct me if i'm wrong, but instead of 'aegoromantic', couldn't it be used 'romance-positive aromantic'?

They’re different things. ’Aego’ means ’without me’ or something like that. Aegoromantic isn’t interested in being in romantic relations and romance-positive aro can be interested in them.

I’m basically romance-neutral, but when someone is very close to me I can turn into romance-favorable and only for this person.

There was a historical moment in Polish translations of the games, because the person who was doing a translation for ’Bugsnax’ decided to keep a nonbinary character (Floofty) as nonbinary. The translator decided to use dukaizm forms for them. Polish is very gendered language and it’s very common that translators are doing ciswashing. There was also a very long discussion about Polish translation of ’She-Ra’ where nonbinarity of Double Trouble was erased. I don’t know if they corrected it or not.