So I discovered aromanticism not even a week ago. Before I was horribly uneducated and thought it was only tied to asexuality. The concept of romantic and sexual orientation being separated went completely over my head. Then I stumbled upon a Tumblr post explaining it and was surprised to find out it describes me quite well. The more I dug into it the more sure I was. All these years when I didn't get the sentiment of romantic relationship, when I didn't even desire a relationship like that and rather unjokingly wished to be single forever, never understanding why people get depressed over break ups and being single since break ups were relieving for me and being single was the best thing ever. I found out there were people like me! Finally someone who understood and didn't think it was sad or weird!
I have never found any label that resonated with me better than this one and I felt overwhelming happiness that I'm not alone! Since then I spend almost every minute on the internet, reading forums, looking at memes, tiktoks, videos, discussions and I feel so...normal now. The only issue those few days ago was that I had a girlfriend.
Today I finally got myself to come out to her as aromantic (after I was supported by my sister and kinda supported by my best friend who actually thinks I just haven't met the right girl yet, but she never liked my gf so she supported me in her own way) and we broke up. She knew for some time that something was wrong so I guess she kinda expected it, but I could hear in her voice that she was probably going to cry. She barely said anything and didn't really want to talk at all so we hung up. (yes, through a phone, long distance relationship) I felt so bad for hurting her feelings. She was always more comitted to the relationship than me and initiated all the romantic stuff, casually mentioning she loves me time to time. I rarely did that, it felt disgenuine and general couple stuff was either awkward or uncomfortable for me. We dated for about 4 months and went on a couple of dates. I already knew that I didn't feel the same as her, I never did, but I thought that it's just that I have to get used to it. Finding out I'm aro opened my eyes and made me look back at my life. Suddenly everything was so damn clear. And while I did feel bad for hurting her, at the same time I felt relief for letting her go and embracing who I am.
I'm aromantic. I don't think I've ever been more sure about anything. I'm definitely somewhere on the spectrum, maybe demi, but I honestly feel the most comfortable with aro. My question is...
Did I do the right thing when I broke up with my girlfriend? Should I have waited a little longer to see if the relationship was going anywhere? I see aromanticism through my entire short 17 years long life despite being properly introduced to the term just 5 days ago, but can I still be sure?
I'll be happy for any reply, I love all of you people so much! You helped me a lot already without even knowing...