Ace-TheTimelordsCompanion

2

That was uncalled for, we only need to tie Tal up while we count

An ex-hippopotamus-designer and his wife annoy the neighbours by growing things in their garden.

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(and branching out to films here)

Younger sister comes out of the closet, but nobody believes her

I have to sleep now, I'm ssure i'll post a bunch more tomorrow

(me too!  )
A group of singing socks are heckled by two other, older, socks

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A musical sociopath keeps human body parts in the fridge because he is bored

An English man really wants a cup of tea, but instead someone puts a live fish in his ear

Felicity Kendal

An elderly man, with a vendetta against pepper pots, abducts young women and keeps them in a phone booth

Banned for being ashamed of your originality

11

If it is possible sure, okay, I;m game. I do however feel, that if taken seriously, no skill or knowledge is completely useless. Let me tell you a story, once upon a time there was an obscure mathematical problem, that very few people cared about, and many people said the study of it was entirely useless and pointless. But study it they did, and they even invented a machine to help them study it, and that machine was the precurser to the modern computer. 
Also aspects of a skill are always transferable  to other skills and applications. 

On that not, you get 20 million dollars, but the internet never existed, and will never exist.

You have it, but because it is both cake and icecream all the avenites and arocolypsians descend and devour it in seconds

I wish my body clock wasn;t all screwed up and I had a normal sleep schedule

YUMMMMM Gimme gimme gimme!!!

lentils

They don't ache anymore at all, this is of course because you have no muscles, and you just sort of lie there like a jellyfish until you realise you no longer have a heart either, or a diaphragm, and you die. Sorry about that.

I wish for a cyntiq tablet to do digital drawing on

You do, but it is the Mars mission, and you can never come back to Earth. The other astronauts are all total jerks and you have to hang out with them all the time, and everything is very primitive, and your com system broke down and everyone on earth thinks you all died before reaching Mars, so you don't even get any glory

I wish for a large bowl of delicious mac 'n' cheese

You can, and you do, but you can't control it. Helooo arriving naked  and dripping wet in the middle of the highschool gymnasium

I wish I actually did have the real TARDIS

Banned for not using emoticons to express your love for emoticons

Banned for an irrational fraction

No thanks, I'll keep my limbs, I am rather attached to them.

A million dollars but you have to successfully keep this years new years resolutions you made. If you didn;t make any, your closest friend or relative gets to pick some for you

Banned for reasons that are undefined

Your fairy godmother turns up when they hear 'I wish', they are so confused by the rest of it that they promptly drop dead, leaving you to deal with the body and the crushing disappointment that you could have had anything you wanted.

I wish my long-term migraine would go away

Well, at least I could pay for the chiropractor I would need.
I guess I could live with that

You get a million dollars but you also get my migraine. When will it end? Who knows, it has lasted two and a half months so far

Banned because that seems to be the very definition of redundant  

no way

you get a million dollars but you can for a random fifteen minutes a day you make uncontrollable animal sounds

So long as I can wash it every night and layer it for different levels of heat, it would be a relief in a way really.

You get a million dollars but you can never watch any episodes of your favourite show that come out after today

 

Okay, I guess I;ll be hiring a secretary cos I hate making phone calls

A million dollars but it is tied up in a restaurant business that you have to manage, but you get the profit etc, and you can make all the choices etc, but you can;t sell it for at least a year