Blue Phoenix Ace

9 hours ago, Ace of Amethysts said:

What about changing the time zone shown on Arocalypse to your area? Or can you already do that?

You should be able to pick this in your profile.

Hi! Sorry I forgot about this for a while. It was overwhelming yes so I will add the subforum. Thanks for your input!

He bears (bore) a striking resemblance to Adam Sandler.

This is a great question, and a hard one to answer. If we want to make a list of never married famous people, that would be much simpler. But, we can't assume that an unmarried person is aromantic, nor that a married person isn't aromantic.

So, unfortunately, we can only speculate.

It's highly possible that Nikolai Tesla was aromantic. He supposedly claimed that he was too interested in his research and didn't have time for sex or romance. That's still just a guess though. He may have felt those attractions but just never acted on them because he really did enjoy his work more.

You seem to be chasing your own tail there Kitty.

I think I understand what you're getting at. You want someone special in your life, just not necessarily a romantic partner. Someone you can depend on, and lend support for in return. Something like close roommates without all the romantic hooks.

Back to the original question, the definition of date is "a social or romantic appointment or engagement". Notice the or. You can remove romantic from the definition entirely. So, sure, you can go out on a date with a friend.

On 9/13/2016 at 10:23 PM, Zemaddog said:

If you're on mobile and you want to see status updates like you do on a pc, switch to the "Default" theme

Fixed! You should see this with every theme now.

On 9/13/2016 at 10:23 PM, Zemaddog said:

(which is something that should have been fixed a while ago but still hasn't)

Unfortunately, the CSS I edit doesn't make it into the editor. I don't have any control over how the editor shows stuff.  (And the quote this thingy is working for me for the time being yay)

On 9/25/2016 at 7:12 PM, Bipolar Bear said:

Nice list! If the quotes are what is imp, but the name/timestamp aren't as necessary, the site accepts bbcode tags for quoting.You can type

insert quoted text, here

without the periods.

Like this?

On 10/1/2016 at 9:42 AM, cute kitty Meow! Mewo! said:

the confusing thing for me has often been that, well, I want to be with a person some day. but I really don't understand how that fits into the aromantic deal. and I don't know how I'd even get from where I am to that. I guess that it's more like, I want to have a good or close friend who is also a housemate/roomate? both for the practicality of the benefits of living and vacationing with the same person habitually, and also for the benefits of being good friends with your house mate. 

I understand what you mean here exactly. I think using the term "dating" might not be quite right here. It's more like "hanging out" or "having dinner with a friend" or something. (Maybe?)  

I play every instrument equally bad.

My forte is composition.  I am pretty good with music theory and music production software. It's surprising how much you can do without knowing a lick of playing anything. I have been interested in the piano for quite some time, but I haven't made the effort to learn it well. I would need to find a teacher, but more importantly the time.

Here are my three published albums. You might call them chillout, or deep trance. It's just emotional music, good to relax to:

http://www.ektoplazm.com/index.php?s=blue+phoenix

On 8/29/2016 at 7:18 AM, Louis Hypo said:

I just learnt that if your status update is too long it won't post. This has caused me grief in the past especially with my unseen coming out post. Can you implement a character counter like you see in tweets and notify people if their update is too long instead of just deleting the entire post?

Hi Louis! I actually have no control over that.

3 hours ago, Josie said:

Okay so I have a suggestion to make it possible to see how many people are online when you log in. I just think it's nice to know if anyone else is on at the same time as you are.

 

EDIT: Okay nvm I just realised you could already see that.

I think you've got it figured out.

Sorry I forgot to check this thread for a couple of weeks!

I haven't read any literature that explicitly stated that a character was aro or ace. There are many that don't involve romance but they don't explore the possibility of a person not desiring it.

This is one of the videos from my YouTube channel that explains some of the things an aromantic person might feel. I think it helps to bring up how you feel in relationships (if you've had one) or why you avoid relationships (if you haven't). For most people, it's natural to desire a long term romantic relationship, so they have a hard time understanding otherwise. I think in order to help them understand you, it can help to understand how they feel and then point out the differences. (Maybe my next video except I wouldn't be an expert on that!)

4 hours ago, comedyofaros said:

 

What's really fucked up is that this is the sort of behavior that lifestyle magazines and dating advice columns universally condemn as "insecure," "immature," etc., because they simply do not fathom that some people are still just figuring things out.

It can definitely add to the confusion. Because of what everyone else is telling us, we believe that we can't possibly feel the way we do. Surely we just haven't met the right person yet, or there is something wrong with us We aren't allowed to be happy single...

On 7/24/2016 at 2:28 PM, SoulWolf said:

 

 

Did anything ever come of that? It'd be an awesome test to have in checkboxy form... and maybe a bit shorter. Something easier for people to get through, because I'd really love to know what scores people I know IRL get...

I got a response to my email saying he wanted to take a look around the site before agreeing to anything. I guess he's taking a really close look because that was several weeks ago and I haven't heard back yet. Maybe he is devising an experiment for us in his lab.

Sorry but I don't have control over that.  Just be careful where you click!

I've had several reports of people who try to make an account here but get an error that they aren't able to use their email address. Or it may be another generic error that doesn't help much. This may be part of IPS Community's anti-spam filters. While it keeps a lot of spam bots away, it also has false positives that keep honest people out on occasion.

If you try to make an account here and seem to get locked out, please try the following:

1. Check your spam and/or junk folders to see if the registration mail went there
2. If you have an account on AVEN, send a private message to Blue Phoenix Ace with your desired username and email
3. If not, try joining the chat and grab a member's attention there. Tell them to PM me your desired username and email
4. If you can make comments on YouTube, find my channel in my signature below and comment on one of my videos to get my attention

Once I have your desired username and your email address, I can create an account for you manually. Thanks for your patience!

Welcome @UncommonNonsense! I'm about to turn 38 myself. We didn't have Internet as teenagers. There was no great way to find people like us or any information about singlehood in general. We had to go by what people we knew told us. That was a unanimous GO GET MARRIED.

Sure, something like that. I will try to get in contact with James and see if he's OK with us using the questionnaire on our site.

I found his email address and reached out to him. We'll see if we get a response.

I think this idea has a lot of merit. I would hate to use any verbiage that it is proof or scientific, but it's a very good starting point for someone. We could also turn the quiz into an interactive checkboxy thing that automatically tallies up your score. For every statement you agree with just click the box on.

It takes a fair amount of time to take the whole test. Should we boil it down a bit? Could we have an even simpler version of the quiz with just ten questions and then say, well maybe you should take the full text now?

OK, it's all setup. Who will be first?

Whoa hang on a sec there. I think Romantic Allies... would go under the Aromanticism heading. Would you agree?

I could put "Sexuality and Gender" and "Romantic Allies and Partners of Aros" under Misc as well.

Does this make sense then? Is there a better name than "Other Topics" or would they go under Misc?

Welcome

   Welcome and rules

   AdMod Forum (where the AdMod team secretly makes fun of you)

Aromanticism

   Discussion

   Relationships

   Visibility

Other Topics???

   Sexuality and Gender

   Romantic Allies

Misc

   Off Topic

   Site Sugg.

3 hours ago, aroMa(n)tisse said:

I think people who have never been there are supposed to emulate a hypothetical romantic relationship in their imagination and answer how they would feel if they were 'in love' the way they tend to do (e.g. if they formed a couple with someone they'd have a self-proclaimed 'squish' on).

Hmm yeah I could agree with that. I did the best I could and mustered a whopping 11.

I got a 12 on the "quiz". However, I feel that a lot of questions are an automatic no if someone has never been in a romantic relationship. That being said, I never really felt any of that in the one I was in.

On 6/7/2016 at 10:10 AM, aroMa(n)tisse said:

I don't think that having experienced limerence makes one (grey-)romantic; conscious longing to have such an experience once again (or continue it with the current 'loved one') is necessary to make such a conclusion, imho.

 

In short, a romantic is someone who would like to be 'in love' (limerent), an aro is someone who would hate it.

I like you a lot more now, because if true I'd be back to being aro .  But, I stand firm in my stance that aromantics have never even felt a crush or limerence. (I'm going to go take the test now. I skimmed it before but never got a score)