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  • Orientation
    aro ?
  • Gender
    cis female
  • Pronouns
    she/her, they/them

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Cassiopeia's Achievements


Beelzebufo (4/4)

  1. That's so awkward from the other way around as well. I don't know how many times I had to explain as a teenager that no, I'm not hatin', I'm just really gay. Since then I have learned how to admire people a bit less obviously. cw: razors
  2. Parents are tricky to come out to. There are a variety of reactions, they may not be condescending. They may brush it off and go into full on denial. They may get angry. I'd suggest try doing it individually, one on one, and find a calm setting where none of you are disracted. Good luck
  3. so topshop calls their purple lipstick "straight ace"

  4. Oh, the never ending shaving debate. Treating shaving like an effort to cover up a secret is really harmful, especially for children. Pre teen kids should not be bullied into messing with razors and hot wax. Hair removal can be empowering though, especially for transfeminine people. If its something that makes you feel great then go for it. I did this experiment, if I started to pluck my eyebrows in the ladies room, nobody gives a second look. If I tidy up my upper lip, some people get so offended. There is definitely a stigma, some types of body hair are just more socially acceptable. Also its kind of funny how some feminists stop at leg and armpit hair. Being some mix of femme and butch, kind of like a peacock, I do a lot of femme things because I enjoy them, but when I notice it turning into a restrictive thing, i stop. With shaving its weird.I would not necessarily consider it to be a feminine thing, people shave, end of the story. Personally I kind of enjoy it in an aestethic way, because it makes me feel more dapper, and its one of my self care things I do as a ritual of self reflection and its a way to be okay with my body. Not really in a way to try to control it, but more like being familiar with how it is. I guess its because I'm quite pale, but my hair is dark, so its really obvious when I do some grooming. Also, I kind of figured out in my teens that no armpit hair means having less sweat, at least on me. But I'm not really bothered by the existence of it or feel too much pressure to maintain a perfect clean shave anymore. TL;DR Statistically most AFAB people naturally do look like Frida Khalo, especially if they are from an ethnic group near the equator. They do have facial hair and nipple hair and unibrows, hairy bellies, hobbit feet and thigh hair and all that jazz. Just shave from the age of 12 on. That's pretty depressing if you think about it.
  5. Well if someone aro dates a person romantically, hopefully they made that choice because they want to do so. Unless they were forced to do so, there is not really another option. Its quite unlikely that someone would maintain a relationship by accident...
  6. Part of the problem is that people would not even think to question it. Unless you are part of the group that is negativey affected by it, you don't really notice when you say or do something that perpetuates these stereotypes. Because lived your entire life in a society that promotes these bs, you think of them as normal, its so pervasive you don't even notice it. Even after you were told you should question certain things, you slip back into the old routine, and the system benefits you. This is what they mean when they say that all white people are racist. This is what they mean when they say all cis people are transphobic. This is why feminists flip the table when someone starts the not all men discussion again. Getting defensive is not helpful, this isn't about privileged people having to feel guilty or apologising. Sometimes you have to sit back and listen, and consider and admit the fact that you haven't lived through something others in an oppressed group have. Using your privilege to stand up for them is what this is about. Tell other privileged people that their hate is unacceptable. For you its easier to shut down the abuse, because your privilege protects you. This is what being an ally supposed to mean. And also the act itself. Rape culture and allonormativity are usually a package deal, because they stem from the same harmful misconceptions and beliefs. No matter what gender you are, you will be ridiculed, mocked, groped, infantilised, etc. if you admit you have not done anything sexual yet or lack any interest to try in the future.
  7. It's still Saturday and 2016 in quite a few places...
  8. Yes. I'm a sexual person, but I'm so done with it.
  9. I think it may be confusing to some. I think 'zed' can be easily misunderstood for zero, and that's pretty much like another way of saying aromantic. Also, if zed was choosen because its on the other end of the alphabeth, that's another can of worms. Other sexualities and romatic orientations are not the opposite of 'a', because that's just not it. Zed to me kind of suggests that its an extreme, its just too all-or-nothing. There will be people who dislike the term because of some reason, but these words were not really meant for them. They were created by a minority, to talk about minority issues. As @Zemaddog said, people are pissed off because trans people, aro people and ace people rant online, and they took it personally. What they don't realise is that no matter how many trans activists post a very mean image with a pastel background that says 'down with the cis', these people will not have and have never had any power to discriminate against cis people. You don't get beat up because you are cis. You don't loose your job, your family, your friends... They aren't saying f.ck the individual people who are happy with the gender they were assigned at birth. They are saying f.ck the concept of being cis, this pressure to live your life a certain way, and the consequences you have to face when you do not conform to the norm. Also the mindless, oblivious herd that maintains amatonormativity, allonormativity, transphobia, racism, etc. without even questioning it. I choose to use these words also to show solidarity, and to empower these groups. It can be way of saying that I'm aware of my privilege, and I don't expect all people to be like me. By normalising the use of these words, we also normalise the people who created them. In a world where it normal that your blogs says that you are cis, its not taken for granted, maybe trans kids will feel more normal when they choose to be visible. Maybe this way trans people, ace people, aro people will find each other more easily online.
  10. Oh just get it over with. It was an awful year for most people, let's not make it any longer than neccessary.
  11. Getting the worst flu I have had in years is my body's way of telling me to chill.

    1. shotinthehand


      Oh yikes, I'm sorry. Take care of yourself!

  12. @Mark I don't know then, it was just a theory. Maybe just we are a too new forum, and it doesn't come up in google searches too often, so allies don't find it. Hopefully they will in the future.
  13. Sorry, I forgot to copy this part. @Blue Phoenix Ace said something very similar. In my opinion that particular subforum is dead because aromanticism works differently than asexuality. Its sibling forum is needed and it works well on AVEN because romantic aces are dating sexual people who have no idea how to handle that situation. Aros in general aren't too keen on getting into any relationships with romantic people, or to have exclusivity with them. Or if we do, sexual friendships aren't such a new concept, they are not going to come to this forum to ask about why they are being "friendzoned"... Basically the way we feel or don't feel is not as obviously performative like sexuality, and we are a lot less likely to get into a situation where we are expected to romance someone.
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