I kind of think I might be agender..?

[ApeironStella]

Okay so, I kind of have this "?????" in my brain when it comes to gender. In fact, I always kind of had that, I would get confused when doing something would be assigned to a sex/gender ever since I was a child, and I never felt like... a "proper girl"? I always feel like my thinking pattern would be closer to what people tend to associate with "masculine", while I tend to act a bit more "feminine". And other than listing stereotypes, I have no absolute idea what is even supposed to be a clue of a gender/sense of gender.

 

Female only slightly seems to fit, as that's something I am used to but always felt somehow "off", while male seems to be more off. I always saw people as gender-neutral beings and keep being surprised by people "feeling their gender and showing it to a high degree" as it just ??? Does not compute in my mind.

 

I tend to act and dress in a more androgyne manner, though I don't mind dressing differently. I just... always tend to feel a lot more comfortable when I don't really show-off to others in any possible way, so that kinda leaks to that too?

 

Also, being aroace and living in the country I do, I always kinda befriended girls because I felt unsafe with boys (as our current laws pretty much would blame me if I ever got raped and I suck at knowing or feeling safe with any show of attraction from anyone, particularly cis boys here.) but??? Our mindsets never seemed close with them, and I tend to end up relating with people I seem to code in my mind as "gives a gender neutral vibe".

 

I used demigirl for a while but... that doesn't feel right, either? I saw gendervoid and it felt like it fit me the most, but it was one of pretty ridiculated ones so I don't know...

 

Ps. Gendervoid was coined to seperate neutrois (which is used as a sense of third gender) and sense of ???? having no gender (aka gendervoid) since both tend to be described under "agender" label depending to people? I don't know it that changed/get resolved as a split of agender/neutrois. 

[SoulWolf]

Hey, you sound a lot like me. I never understood why people identify with gender stuff either, and it confused me every time someone made assumptions about me based on my body parts.

 

I actually look quite androgynous, it's really mainly my height that makes people not think I'm a guy more often. But that has happened too on occasion. Anyway, I'm also kinda guessing 'agender' fits me the best. Or really it's the only one that makes sense. I ignore gender as much as possible. It'd be nice if it wasn't so ingrained into language and other things so much. Then I could probably forget it even exists.

 

There seems to be 2 'types' of agender, as far as I can tell... one is for people who (like us) have no internal sense of gender. And the other is for people who specifically identify as a gender that is neither male nor female, to the point where being seen as male or female bothers them, in some cases to actually want surgery. I think it makes more sense to seperate them since they are not really the same thing at all... or maybe I've just misunderstood something somewhere... not sure.

[ApeironStella]

6 hours ago, SoulWolf said:

Hey, you sound a lot like me. I never understood why people identify with gender stuff either, and it confused me every time someone made assumptions about me based on my body parts.

 

I actually look quite androgynous, it's really mainly my height that makes people not think I'm a guy more often. But that has happened too on occasion. Anyway, I'm also kinda guessing 'agender' fits me the best. Or really it's the only one that makes sense. I ignore gender as much as possible. It'd be nice if it wasn't so ingrained into language and other things so much. Then I could probably forget it even exists.

 

There seems to be 2 'types' of agender, as far as I can tell... one is for people who (like us) have no internal sense of gender. And the other is for people who specifically identify as a gender that is neither male nor female, to the point where being seen as male or female bothers them, in some cases to actually want surgery. I think it makes more sense to seperate them since they are not really the same thing at all... or maybe I've just misunderstood something somewhere... not sure.

 

Yeah, that's why I mentioned neutrois, actually. From what I recall, neutrois tends to be more common with third gender agenders, while gendervoid is pretty much no gender agenders? Why I even picked gendervoid is was to seperate it from third gender agenders as I am %9000 on wtf is even a gender do I eat that side.

 

And, yes, exactly! I always think as 'humans' first and foremost- including myself. It is like, if you ask me who I am, my gender would be one of the last things I would be likely to say. I would list my hobbies, personality, typology related type labels, interests and things I like, things I do, maybe being an aroace with emphasis on aro, but like... having female sex body parts and my relation to them is just... not at important? Annoying, even.

 

I am just me. I am just human. 

 

So yeah. After checking the wiki and seeing it having being described as "seeing themselves a human more than any gender", and reading your response, reading some other stuff yep. %93.67 and three candies likely to be agender!

 

 

[SamwiseLovesLife]

On 01/05/2017 at 6:41 PM, SoulWolf said:

Hey, you sound a lot like me. I never understood why people identify with gender stuff either, and it confused me every time someone made assumptions about me based on my body parts.

 

I actually look quite androgynous, it's really mainly my height that makes people not think I'm a guy more often. But that has happened too on occasion. Anyway, I'm also kinda guessing 'agender' fits me the best. Or really it's the only one that makes sense. I ignore gender as much as possible. It'd be nice if it wasn't so ingrained into language and other things so much. Then I could probably forget it even exists.

 

Same  I'm also short, but as I'm transitioning I hope I won't be misgendered female as much as I am atm

 

On 01/05/2017 at 6:41 PM, SoulWolf said:

There seems to be 2 'types' of agender, as far as I can tell... one is for people who (like us) have no internal sense of gender. And the other is for people who specifically identify as a gender that is neither male nor female, to the point where being seen as male or female bothers them, in some cases to actually want surgery. I think it makes more sense to seperate them since they are not really the same thing at all... or maybe I've just misunderstood something somewhere... not sure.

I would disagree here. People who are a mixture/not a binary gender or both can be genderfluid/non-binary/two-spirit/bigender, etc. People who are a different gender entirely are Mavriek (probably not spelt right) or another gender which they define as separate. A as a prefix is by definition the lack of something so cannot be used when the gender exists but is simply other than the binary social genders.

Not that I'm an Agender elitist or something, if people want to use a term they should, only you can know your own gender and define it

[shotinthehand]

Hi, everyone!

I'm collecting video interviews from non-straight women and transgender and non-binary people on their relationships with their femininity.

If anyone is alright with me interviewing them, please let me know! If you know anyone who might be alright with being interviewed, put them in contact with me!

I'm going to be asking everyone questions like "how does wearing a dress make you feel?" and "do you like being described as feminine?" and I plan on asking questions specific to people's orientations and gender identities as well, such as "how do you respond when people say 'you don't look like a lesbian'?" or "as a trans-girl, do you feel obligated to wear make up to indicate to other people that you are a girl?" or "do people expect you to be available to men as a woman, even after you tell them you are aromantic?"

I'm going to edit all the interviews I get into one cohesive film and then show it in a theater at my school for a suggested donation of about a dollar. I'm going to donate all proceeds to the Urgent Action Fund for Women's Rights, an organization that grants money to activists for women's rights and LGBT+ rights, especially their intersection.

I need to have this finished by March of 2019.

Thanks for your time!