Ghost1e Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 I’ve been in a 4 year relationship with someone and I’m a Frayromantic/Aegoromantic person, so I don’t want to be in a relationship with them anymore, but don’t know how to break it to the about how I am and how I feel. I feel terrible in it and feel terrible if I end it. I don’t want to hurt their feelings but I also don’t want to lie to them. I’ve been on a long journey to figure out what I needed in relationships and I’ve most recently agreed that I am an aromantic person. I see my life much happier without a romantic relationship. I always feel strong romantic feelings when I meet people, but they quickly fade as I get to know them deeper, so I just don’t care about relationships, or at least long term ones. They don’t interest me, but I’m in one right now and I hate it for myself and my partner. I don’t know what to do. I feel so bad. It hurts even more because I love them as a person because we’ve grown so close, but I don’t feel the romantic feelings. Please help 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neon Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 You need to break up with them. Normally I suggest talk first, but I think this is a break up case. It's a relationship you don't want to be in, so for your sake, leave. Don't tell them anything you don't want to, but have a conversation and break it off. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A_Mess Posted May 3 Share Posted May 3 Whatever the reasons are, breakups are never pleasant. It probably won't be easy to do, but just remind yourself that breaking it off is the best for both of you. Even if you love them as a person, the relationship is making you miserable, and while they might be hurt, they will also have the chance to find someone who wants the same things as them. Depending on how knowledgeable or accepting they are of LGBTQ+, consider whether or not you want to thoroughly explain your identity. Just remember: you absolutely do NOT have to. Simply explaining that you don't feel romantically towards them (anymore?) is enough. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghost1e Posted May 3 Author Share Posted May 3 4 hours ago, A_Mess said: Whatever the reasons are, breakups are never pleasant. It probably won't be easy to do, but just remind yourself that breaking it off is the best for both of you. Even if you love them as a person, the relationship is making you miserable, and while they might be hurt, they will also have the chance to find someone who wants the same things as them. Depending on how knowledgeable or accepting they are of LGBTQ+, consider whether or not you want to thoroughly explain your identity. Just remember: you absolutely do NOT have to. Simply explaining that you don't feel romantically towards them (anymore?) is enough. They’re apart of the LGBTQ+ community as they are non binary and asexual, but they have borderline personality disorder and they have a strong attachment to me. I’m also a kindhearted person who hates hurting people. People might even call it people pleasing, but I feel like I’ve broken out of that stage. Anyway, I feel they would understand, but I also feel like it would destroy them. I just need to muster up the courage to break this off… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CORALINE Posted Tuesday at 09:22 AM Share Posted Tuesday at 09:22 AM Hello! I feel you because I was on a similar situation recently, even though I know that person only since October... and it's so scary, you don't want to lose that person and you don't wanna hurt them but at the same time you can't ignore your feelings. If you don't want a romantic relationship, you shouldn't stay in it to make someone else happy, that's for sure! My advice for you is: speak to your partner as openly as you can, explain them your point and your feelings, that you don't wanna lose them because you love them as a person but you don't feel the "romantic feelings" anymore... It can happen to anyone, there's nothing wrong in it! Idk your partner but if they're a sensitive person they'll listen to you, discuss the situation and try to find a solution: to change the type of your relationship, to break up but stay friends, whatever! It's possible they will be angry at first and won't see you for a while, but if they care about you as a person in general I think you will stay in touch and keep having an happy ending, after all you did nothing wrong to them, just your feeling changed and jt isn't under your control. I hope it helps and I wish you good luck ❤️ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.