I broke up with my girlfriend one year ago

[dordor]

She was the only relationship i ever had, and it was what made me realize i was aro. That shitty experience made me find out that my feelings are diffrent from otger people. 

I do come to like people from time to time, and god i really did like her. She was sweet, quiet, smelled nice and always did nice things for me. But you see i came to understand even tho i liked her i didnt like her to have a romantic relationship. 

She told me that she liked me, and i answered "i like you too, you are my best friend" THAT SERIOUSLY SHLULD'VE BEEN MY FIRST CLUE. So from there we started some kind of relationship, we never went on dates bc damn i just couldnt do that. I kept giving her excuses like "i have to study" "you have to study" "my grandla has cancer" "my grandpa juat died" and other shits like this.

Gld it was too much for me، i kept asking for breaks and she kept coming back. I really couldnt stand her anymore, the things she wanted from me were fucking too much. I started to get angry, i would shout at her, block her out, not answer her text, etc. 

God i mean she kept counting seconds whenever i asked for a break. Who would do that? That's creepy! Fuck romantic love and the shits that come out of it.

So oneday she said she wanted to talk to me, we went some where quiet and she went straight to the point :"i love you" HOLY CRAP HOW CAN ALLOS FALL IN LOVE IN ONLY 4 MONTHS?? HOWWW

i told her that i can't say ut back cause for me love doesnt come like that(srs how did i not know i was aro back then?) So she went her way. 

A couple days before valentine day she said she wanted to talk again, she probably wanted to get back togther but i yelled at her and told her we are DONE.

and that was the story of the worst romance ever.

 

Edited February 12 by dordor

[MondoBilby]

Yeesh, that sounds like a pain in the backside! I'm glad you managed to avoid escalating the situation though, a lot of people just get together anyway because they're too nervous to say no. 

15 hours ago, dordor said:

So oneday she said she wanted to talk to me, we went some where quiet and she went straight to the point :"i love you" HOLY CRAP HOW CAN ALLOS FALL IN LOVE IN ONLY 4 MONTHS?? HOWWW

One of my friends used to have a gf that he only knew for a week before they got together. It's crazy. How can you be so trusting and committing to someone who you barely even know? I suppose that's what the "magic" of romance is lol.

[dordor]

2 hours ago, MondoBilby said:

Yeesh, that sounds like a pain in the backside! I'm glad you managed to avoid escalating the situation though, a lot of people just get together anyway because they're too nervous to say no. 

One of my friends used to have a gf that he only knew for a week before they got together. It's crazy. How can you be so trusting and committing to someone who you barely even know? I suppose that's what the "magic" of romance is lol.

I would never be able to understand how can they just start something to intimate with skmeone they barely know. They are wierd 😂

[A_Mess]

I get this. I had a relationship kind of similar for some months in high school. It wasn't my first, but it was the one that really opened my eyes to the fact that I couldn't have relationships like other people. I agreed to go out because we had been friends for a while and it seemed like a natural progression and from the beginning I was open with the fact that I didn't like him that way but was open to dating to see if feelings would develop later and he was fine with that. But really, as soon as we changed the label from "friendship" to "relationship" it was like I completely shut down. He never did anything wrong and if anything was too accommodating to me, but suddenly it was like everything he did just made me so uncomfortable and sometimes irritated. I could barely even talk to him even when he was sitting right next to me. I never got upset with him and tried not to let my discomfort show too much, but I was very avoidant. He never broke up with me I guess because he still had hope and I had too much anxiety to break up until the last day of the school year (he was very nice about it when I did). It was a miserable experience for me and I'm sure my behavior hurt his feelings too and I tend to look back on it as a warning to myself to be careful. He was the one who liked me and wanted to date, but agreeing and staying when I couldn't reciprocate just dragged out a painful situation and wasted his time. 

After that, I resolved myself to firmly reject any dates until I figured out my issues, and then tried once more in college at the recommendation of a therapist. That predictably went almost the exact same way, but thankfully we mutually ended it a lot sooner with little damage done and we're still friends years later.

In both cases, I legitimately just couldn't understand their feelings at all no matter how much I tried and would end up getting really upset often because of it. But I do try my best not to let my own situation hurt others.