School adults overstepping boundaries

[MaxIsCosmic]

So as I have mentioned before I have a boyfriend and we do not hide our relationship in our school. We don’t run into a ton of problems but one has been jabbing us in the side for about two years now. There are two teachers who will ask really weird questions about our relationship like asking us for a typed out copy of our love story whenever we pass him in the hallway (we laughed the first time thinking it was joke but he just keept asking), accusing us of making out in the bathroom (witch we have never done), asking who is “top”, asking my boyfriend if I have had “the surgery” (I’m transgender) and one told me I couldn’t have a demiromantic pin because I am in a relationship. It’s really weird and we have told them to stop. I don’t know if I’m overthinking this or if it’s actually weird. Additionally these teachers never do this to anyone else and I’m not sure if it’s because we are a mlm (man loving man) couple (I don’t know of any other not hidden queer relationships) or if it’s just because they are weird. 

[hemogoblin]

That's sexual harassment, and since you're minors, it's actually child sexual abuse. That is 100% something you can and should report. I'm sorry your school environment is so unsafe.

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

Yeah this is 100% sexual harassment, homophobia, transphobia, and pedophilia. Bring it up right away to an adult you trust. Document these behaviors as much as possible, try to get recordings or to get writings from the offenders so you have hard evidence to back you up. This behavior is 100% NOT ok, I’m sorry they’re treating you this way and they need to face serious consequences for this. 

[DeltaAro]

13 hours ago, MaxIsCosmic said:

I don’t know if I’m overthinking this or if it’s actually weird.

"Weird" is putting it mildly. Now everyone can accidentally do a faux pas, but for normal people this happens once, and they apologize by themselves.

Here we have a pattern, that crossed the line to sexual harassment some time ago.

It's clear that without reporting, it will continue.

But I don't think it's a good idea to report both, because they then have it easier to paint you as the "oversensitive" one and weasel out that they "didn't mean it", "you should've told them" etc. all that nonsense.

You also need evidence. AFAIK in most US states, you can record without permission if you're one party of the conversation. So you can record here (contrary to EU where bonkers laws make gathering evidence by recording pretty much illegal).

[emillioe53]

On 11/26/2023 at 12:50 AM, MaxIsCosmic said:

So as I have mentioned before I have a boyfriend and we do not hide our relationship in our school. We don’t run into a ton of problems but one has been jabbing us in the side for about two years now. There are two teachers who will ask really weird questions about our relationship like asking us for a typed out copy of our love story whenever we pass him in the hallway (we laughed the first time thinking it was joke but he just keept asking), accusing us of making out in the bathroom (witch we have never done), asking who is “top”, asking my boyfriend if I have had “the surgery” (I’m transgender) and one told me I couldn’t have a demiromantic pin because I am in a relationship. It’s really weird and we have told them to stop. I don’t know if I’m overthinking this or if it’s actually weird. Additionally these teachers never do this to anyone else and I’m not sure if it’s because we are a mlm (man loving man) couple (I don’t know of any other not hidden queer relationships) or if it’s just because they are weird. 

In my experience, the issue of school adults overstepping boundaries is disconcerting. It reminds me of the challenges I faced while drafting my common app essay examples. Striking the right balance between personal growth and external influences is crucial. 

It's important to recognize that your feelings are valid, and you have the right to feel safe and respected in your school environment.

[Oko]

This behaviour is realy terrible. Maybe they're bored of their own life and need to take care about others. I just told them: "It's none of your business." and then ignore. I don't have better guidance.

[MaxIsCosmic]

49 minutes ago, hemogoblin said:

That's sexual harassment, and since you're minors, it's actually child sexual abuse. That is 100% something you can and should report. I'm sorry your school environment is so unsafe.

That’s helpful to hear that at least I’m not overthinking things, sometimes I feel like I’m making a big deal over nothing and that I sound like a whiny teenager I’m going to see what options I have considering one of the teachers is our assistant principal who manages reports. 

[leonardbrit]

On 11/25/2023 at 11:50 PM, MaxIsCosmic said:

So as I have mentioned before I have a boyfriend and we do not hide our relationship in our school. We don’t run into a ton of problems but one has been jabbing us in the side for about two years now. There are two teachers who will ask really weird questions about our relationship like asking us for a typed out copy of our love story whenever we pass him in the hallway (we laughed the first time thinking it was joke but he just keept asking), accusing us of making out in the bathroom (witch we have never done), asking who is “top”, asking my boyfriend if I have had “the surgery” (I’m transgender) and one told me I couldn’t have a demiromantic pin because I am in a relationship. It’s really weird and we have told them to stop. I don’t know if I’m overthinking this or if it’s actually weird. Additionally these teachers never do this to anyone else and I’m not sure if it’s because we are a mlm (man loving man) couple (I don’t know of any other not hidden queer relationships) or if it’s just because they are weird. 

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yeah man, its very weird