Oko Posted November 25, 2023 Share Posted November 25, 2023 Hello, I'm new here and I want to know if someone have the same feelings like me. Sorry for my English, I'm not a native speaker. Imagine the situation: You meet a nice person. You have a good rapport with him/her, you have a common hobbies, you like and enjoy spending the time with him/her, you are close friends. And he/she confess he/she is in love with you and he/she want to date and be in relationship with you. You don't want and you feel like he/she wanted to "trap" you and you had to "sacrifice" yourself and your freedom for him/her. You start to feel repulsive to shis person and you avoid him/her. And he/she doesn't understand why, so he/she still strive to "trap" you in a relationship. Then he/she give up and start to hate you. I had a lot of situations like this. Do you know something similar? I don't understand why someone have to strive for dating. We spend time together, we have common hobbies. Why we can't just be friends? Why it's not good? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaxIsCosmic Posted November 25, 2023 Share Posted November 25, 2023 I encourage you to not view romance/a romantic relationship as a trap. for many people it is an expression of their type of love and is often a show of vulnerability and trust. This is not supposed to mean you have to accept or even lower your frustration about the situation, you are allowed to feel angry and upset about this situation because you are provided with information that the relationship your currently have may be changed and change can be hard. Additionally something about romantic relationships as a person who is in one and can experience romantic attraction. it is not necessarily “sacrificing” your freedom (at least not in healthy relationships) it is more like having a friend who you are closer to then anyone else who you communicate and make some decisions with. If it is something you can experience it is an amazing thing but not everyone views it like that and that is ok you have a different view on romance then anyone else because we are all different people who have different experiences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oko Posted November 25, 2023 Author Share Posted November 25, 2023 I know, but my subconscious feel it like a trap. Maybe it's because of the fact I had just bad relationships in the past.😀 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaxIsCosmic Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 I obviously can’t say for certain because I am not there but it’s super easy to project past experiences onto your current relationships (romantic, sexual or platonic) (I would know my boyfriend has to deal with it and tell me when he thinks that’s what I’m doing) just be cautious I encourage you to keep an open mind and if you believe it is safe, communicate and tell them how you feel. Also be sure to keep yourself safe if you feel this is an attempt to have control your life do keep your distance. Be safe <3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oko Posted November 26, 2023 Author Share Posted November 26, 2023 Thank you. I don't have any relationships and I want it to stay that way. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted November 26, 2023 Share Posted November 26, 2023 It feels disappointing when someone you thought was a potential friend romozone you 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oko Posted December 9, 2023 Author Share Posted December 9, 2023 On 11/26/2023 at 8:10 AM, Holmbo said: It feels disappointing when someone you thought was a potential friend romozone you Yes, it is. And when you don't requite his feelings, he is angry. Why? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted December 9, 2023 Share Posted December 9, 2023 3 hours ago, Oko said: Yes, it is. And when you don't requite his feelings, he is angry. Why? Entitlement 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oko Posted December 9, 2023 Author Share Posted December 9, 2023 He can't be angry about another person's feelings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted December 9, 2023 Share Posted December 9, 2023 1 hour ago, Oko said: He can't be angry about another person's feelings. People can be angry about anything. You might not think it's right or fair but that doesn't change their feelings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oko Posted December 9, 2023 Author Share Posted December 9, 2023 Yes, but "don't love/date" is not reason to be angry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hemogoblin Posted December 11, 2023 Share Posted December 11, 2023 Feelings don't need a reason to be. He can be angry - but what matters is how he chooses, if at all, to act on that anger. His hurt that you don't feel the same way about him as he does you is valid. Your hurt that he doesn't feel the same way about you as you do him is valid. Unfortunately, life doesn't always work out perfectly or neatly. Sometimes relationships end. Sometimes people can't work through it, even if it seems like there's an objective solution available (humans are not objective creatures). I'm sorry that unrequited feelings ruined this friendship. That sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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