DaviM703 Posted October 20 Share Posted October 20 Recently had my first sexual contact with another human, who seemed like an especially good friend for me. She initiated it while cuddling (made sure I was okay with it) and I really thought it would go okay if I let her since she was poly and seemed really open with both relationships and her body. However, she was trying to get me to climax for a long time without succeeding and was apparently so triggered by some part of the experience that she now feels the need to not see me again and has blocked me everywhere we talked. I don't know how I was supposed to prevent something like this as I was not going to get into a romantic relationship nor was I comfortable with pure hookups with someone I didn't have any other relationship with, and now I've lost what seemed like one of the most special friendships of a quality especially hard to find. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hemogoblin Posted October 20 Share Posted October 20 You couldn't have prevented this, this wasn't your fault, you shouldn't feel pressured in this way, and I'm sorry she had this issue and that you've ended up hurt from it. That sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeltaAro Posted October 20 Share Posted October 20 58 minutes ago, DaviM703 said: However, she was trying to get me to climax for a long time without succeeding and was apparently so triggered by some part of the experience that she now feels the need to not see me again and has blocked me everywhere we talked. I would never have sex with friends because of this, which is a nightmare scenario. Allos just take it way too seriously (not serious in the "responsible behavior" way, which is sometimes rather lacking, but in the "emotional baggage" way). Anyway, I know how it feels when sexual attraction just dissipates into nothingness, and it doesn't have something to do with the other person. Still, I wonder how she could take it so extremely personally. If she's "experienced" she must have encountered such situations. I could only understand this behavior from someone very immature and insecure. Very sad ☹️, I wish you the best, but it's very unlikely she'll change her mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jot-Aro Kujo Posted October 20 Share Posted October 20 That's odd. Did she say what exactly it was that triggered her? Speaking as a bi aro myself, I don't think this is at all an issue of allos vs. aros vs. aces or what have you, it sounds like an issue of her personal boundaries and trauma. Unfortunate that this happened but I wouldn't overthink it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeltaAro Posted October 20 Share Posted October 20 31 minutes ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said: That's odd. Did she say what exactly it was that triggered her? Speaking as a bi aro myself, I don't think this is at all an issue of allos vs. aros vs. aces or what have you, it sounds like an issue of her personal boundaries and trauma. Unfortunate that this happened but I wouldn't overthink it. It's strange that a mere lackluster experience should trigger such deeper underlying issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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