Witch18 Posted August 13, 2023 Share Posted August 13, 2023 So i’ve been identifying as Aro for a while, but i’ve been thinking and trying to pin point why i dated any of the people i dated. i know I didn’t consciously choose. Did I actually love any of them? Have i been in love? i feel like some of the crushes were just me liking attention but im not really certain about the rest. All the relationships ended the same way tho, me being miserable and wanting to be single because i was happier being the persons friend than their lover. i just don’t know. I just wonder if i’m really aro because those “Crushes” if thats what they were, wouldn’t have existed in the first place if I was aro right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isa1116 Posted August 13, 2023 Share Posted August 13, 2023 Aromanticism is a spectrum. And I think you are describing being lithromantic? What I mean is, you can be aro and have crushes. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted August 13, 2023 Share Posted August 13, 2023 I think it's more important for us to understand ourselves than to fit perfectly into a label. You feel that you experienced romantic crushes but you didn't like being in a romantic relationship with them? That seems to me within the aromantic spectrum. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witch18 Posted August 13, 2023 Author Share Posted August 13, 2023 Its just hard to tell if they were actual crushes. I guess they were cause I remember wanting the peoples attention at least once. And every-time i asked the person out cause i hated just sitting there and waiting to know if people liked me too. But I don’t know. a part of me just also really used to like romance and was desperate for love but i’m not really like that anymore? So idk if that factored in to any of it 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted August 14, 2023 Share Posted August 14, 2023 On 8/13/2023 at 10:45 AM, Witch18 said: Its just hard to tell if they were actual crushes. Do you know the term squish? Used to express platonic attraction. https://aromantic.fandom.com/wiki/Squish Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Witch18 Posted August 14, 2023 Author Share Posted August 14, 2023 Oh i will look further into that. Tbh i think the problem is i have a really bad memory so i cant really remember what made me want to date those people? Like its been so long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cactuz611 Posted August 23, 2023 Share Posted August 23, 2023 I think I know what you're talking about. I have also felt that way. I have had several boyfriends, and I have not been in love with any of them, although I did like them because they were quite interesting people. After broke up with them for different reasons, I still ask myself if I liked their attention, their friendship, or was it romantic attraction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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