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Overthinking if im aro or not


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So i’ve been identifying as Aro for a while, but i’ve been thinking and trying to pin point why i dated any of the people i dated.

i know I didn’t consciously choose. Did I actually love any of them? Have i been in love?

i feel like some of the crushes were just me liking attention but im not really certain about the rest. 

All the relationships ended the same way tho, me being miserable and wanting to be single because i was happier being the persons friend than their lover. 

i just don’t know. I just wonder if i’m really aro because those “Crushes” if thats what they were, wouldn’t have existed in the first place if I was aro right?

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I think it's more important for us to understand ourselves than to fit perfectly into a label. You feel that you experienced romantic crushes but you didn't like being in a romantic relationship with them? That seems to me within the aromantic spectrum.

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Its just hard to tell if they were actual crushes. I guess they were cause I remember wanting the peoples attention at least once. And every-time i asked the person out cause i hated just sitting there and waiting to know if people liked me too. But I don’t know.

a part of me just also really used to like romance and was desperate for love but i’m not really like that anymore? So idk if that factored in to any of it

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Oh i will look further into that. Tbh i think the problem is i have a really bad memory so i cant really remember what made me want to date those people? Like its been so long. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I think I know what you're talking about. I have also felt that way. I have had several boyfriends, and I have not been in love with any of them, although I did like them because they were quite interesting people. After broke up with them for different reasons, I still ask myself if I liked their attention, their friendship, or was it romantic attraction.

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