How young can someone possibly be aroallo?

[Anonymous]

This is being asked anonymously because it feels like people treat it like an adult identity. People don't like it when teens ask. I'm worried I'm going to get shut down. Even if people younger then them are already thinking about that thing. I'm sorry, I'm just somewhat repulsed. I can't ask people because no one wants to feel like a groomer by introducing a minor to things they may not know. I want to find a place where people aren't like that. Now I sound creepy. I don't know.

[Jot-Aro Kujo]

I mean, some people start experiencing sexual attraction pretty young. There’s no reason someone can’t be allo aro at a young age. 
If you’re looking for general guidance on sexual relationships and such, I recommend Scarleteen. It’s a sex ed resource that is (as the name implies) aimed at teens, though it’s useful for all ages, and it tends to be very inclusive when it comes to LGBTQ+ issues and “what if I want x type of relationship but not y”. Give it a look if you haven’t already, I found it very helpful when I was younger. 

[Firebird]

RIght... and then cis-het-allos don't just talk about, they literally shove their identity down the throats of minors all the fucking time. Talk about double standards.

[Anonymous]

5 minutes ago, Firebird said:

RIght... and then cis-het-allos don't just talk about, they literally shove their identity down the throats of minors all the fucking time. Talk about double standards.

Like how if two 5 year olds (one boy and one girl) are sitting next to each other, someone asks what they’ll name their kids?

[Firebird]

1 minute ago, Guest Anonymous said:

Like how if two 5 year olds (one boy and one girl) are sitting next to each other, someone asks what they’ll name their kids?

YES! Exactly that!!! It's fucking gross, and as far as I'm aware, your average queer person doesn't look at kids the same creepy way cis-het-allos permit themselves to. Simply telling kids that, hey, people can love anyone regardless of gender, be whatever gender they want, or not even want love at all (notice how it's said about people, as opposed to insinuating a kid specifically x y and z), is a hell of a lot less creepy, than what cis-het-allos are permitted to do.

[Synthetic Adrenaline]

Don't worry too much about a label yet but also don't go along with a relationship if you don't want one.

I won't go into too much detail because I don't really want to talk about sexuality with a minor...but I'll just offer a bit of advice: Don't do what I did when I was younger. 

I thought you had to be in a relationship because...let's not go there. And I forced myself to go along with a relationship even though it was increasingly not what I wanted and making me feel very put upon and claustrophobic. I ended up with someone moving across multiple time zones for me only for me to find that in reality I hated relationships and really wanted my singlehood privileges back. He ended up stranded far from home in a country where he didn't even speak the language.

So basically...Don't be me at 20 lol.

Don't worry about finding the exact label that suits you but also absolutely don't go along with relationships because you think it's a normal milestone you have to reach or because you don't see other options.

[Firebird]

On 8/2/2023 at 2:22 PM, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

I mean, some people start experiencing sexual attraction pretty young. There’s no reason someone can’t be allo aro at a young age. 
If you’re looking for general guidance on sexual relationships and such, I recommend Scarleteen. It’s a sex ed resource that is (as the name implies) aimed at teens, though it’s useful for all ages, and it tends to be very inclusive when it comes to LGBTQ+ issues and “what if I want x type of relationship but not y”. Give it a look if you haven’t already, I found it very helpful when I was younger. 

I have actually thought about the question more, and now I realise how complicated this issues can get. Some people experience sexual and/or romantic attraction pretty young, while others start getting it much later. While other queer identities are an indication of what a person experiences, a-spec identities are an indication of what a person doesn't experience. It makes it hard to answer the question then, "At what age can someone know they're a-spec", because within a certain age range, it can be unclear whether someone's lack of attraction is something that is here to stay, or they just haven't reached a certain stage in puberty. In my early teen years, it would have been easy to say I was asexual, because I really didn't have any sexual attraction to speak of, but then sexual attraction hit me like a hammer over the head one night I remember oh so well. I am not sure what the solution would be to this.

Edited August 4, 2023 by Firebird
Incomplete thought needed to be finished

[me_kachu]

On 8/2/2023 at 6:46 PM, Guest Anonymous said:

Like how if two 5 year olds (one boy and one girl) are sitting next to each other, someone asks what they’ll name their kids?

OH MY GOOOOOOOOD

That happened to me sooooooo much as a kid. It was so annoying! So I had to sit next to this kid I did not like, no siree due to the seating arrangements and my BFF,I won't say names, said "OMG! What will your kids be called?" Then the whole class was singing "Me_kachu (no name reveal) and Kid(that's not his name) sitting in a tree" you know the rest. Has that ever happened to you?

 

 

Me_kachu, signing off

 

[Firebird]

2 hours ago, me_kachu said:

OH MY GOOOOOOOOD

That happened to me sooooooo much as a kid. It was so annoying! So I had to sit next to this kid I did not like, no siree due to the seating arrangements and my BFF,I won't say names, said "OMG! What will your kids be called?" Then the whole class was singing "Me_kachu (no name reveal) and Kid(that's not his name) sitting in a tree" you know the rest. Has that ever happened to you?

 

 

Me_kachu, signing off

 

Yes, when I was a kid, even before going to preschool, this kind of shit would happen all the fucking time, and looking back, it creeps me out.

[me_kachu]

6 minutes ago, Firebird said:

Yes, when I was a kid, even before going to preschool, this kind of shit would happen all the fucking time, and looking back, it creeps me out.

It's like oh my freaking god I detest him! What the hell you! ',(

 

 

Me_kachu, signing off

 

Edited August 16, 2023 by me_kachu