Ace Archer Posted May 16, 2023 Share Posted May 16, 2023 (edited) Basically, I'm just wondering how to navigate this. I used to have a best friend who I was ostensibly in a QPR (commitment, long-term plans, etc) with, but they were poly and also dating other people. That wasn't a problem for me until they said that one of their romantic partners wanted a more 'traditional' relationship in the future and that maybe the expectations around our relationship should change. Obviously, that "break up" was really hard. We're still friends but not nearly as close. But now that I've finally moved on I really would like to start looking for a QPP. I ultimately want a deep, long-term, live-in mutually supportive, emotional relationship, but classifying it as romantic doesn't seem right, although it might look similar. I often say that I want family, not romance. The thing is, I just don't really know how to go about it. Personally, I don't think I would have a problem with someone (including my partner) calling the relationship romantic, even though I wouldn't view it that way. So I thought about maybe going on dating apps and just being pretty up-front about my expectations. But I have a friend who says that that is "immoral" that I'd just be stringing people along and that it would be really crummy of me to be in a QPR with someone who is interested in Romance. Especially because I would be a little more hesitant about being in a more open relationship, given my previous experience. Probably this is just because I don't really understand the difference between romantic and platonic attraction (especially if you are sex-repulsed asexual, like myself), but I feel like as long as I'm clear about my expectations, it would be ok? Idk. It just seems like the possibility of finding something is so small if I don't use something like dating apps. I guess I just was wondering how people have found their QPPs and if you have any advice for finding one. Thanks! Edited May 16, 2023 by Ace Archer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelloThere Posted May 16, 2023 Share Posted May 16, 2023 Yeah, I’d love for people to make aroace “dating” apps, that’s make qprs so much easier, I mean if I could code anything it’s probably be that. XD 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holmbo Posted May 21, 2023 Share Posted May 21, 2023 I think using dating apps is your best bet. A lot of people won't get it though so you have to prepare yourself for a lot of explaining. It might be easier if you try to connect with people who describe themselves as polygamous or relationship anarchist as they will have a more open mind what a relationship could be about. I don't think it's immoral to date without romantic attraction. However there are many people for whom the lack of romantic attraction would be a deal breaker. In my experience knowing that their partner is in love with them is a big part of romantic relationship for many. You could also look for meetups for aro ace or polyamory. There are also dating apps for making friends and for asexuals. I don't remember any of their names because I've assumed they are not used in my country. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelloThere Posted May 21, 2023 Share Posted May 21, 2023 4 hours ago, Holmbo said: I think using dating apps is your best bet. A lot of people won't get it though so you have to prepare yourself for a lot of explaining. It might be easier if you try to connect with people who describe themselves as polygamous or relationship anarchist as they will have a more open mind what a relationship could be about. I don't think it's immoral to date without romantic attraction. However there are many people for whom the lack of romantic attraction would be a deal breaker. In my experience knowing that their partner is in love with them is a big part of romantic relationship for many. You could also look for meetups for aro ace or polyamory. There are also dating apps for making friends and for asexuals. I don't remember any of their names because I've assumed they are not used in my country. Yeah, finding said apps when I’m older is gonna be harder. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HelloThere Posted July 21, 2023 Share Posted July 21, 2023 55 minutes ago, Sad aro said: As a partnering aro myself I'm wondering the same thing so I follow the thread. I don't think I would be comfortable with having a relationship that could be coded from the surroundings as romantic though. I wish that Arocalypse could start a dating section. I do too, sorta just the qpr or platonic relationship type. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.