How can one know they are aplatonic?

[BasicallyEmoPotato]

I have been wondering about this lately. I myself do not believe I am aplatonic, but I am curious of the topic and wanted to ask what some personal aplatonic experiences of some of the users are. 

Is it a general lack of not wanting friends or is it where you don't experience squishes?

I didn't initially get introduced to the term until I came upon the term on AUREA.

 

 

[nonmerci]

3 hours ago, BasicallyEmoPotato said:

Is it a general lack of not wanting friends or is it where you don't experience squishes?

It can be both. Personally I don't have squishes, but I still have friends (I suppose you can call me platonic-favorable). It can be more difficult to keep the friendships as the lack of attraction leads to a "out of sight out of mind" thing, but I tend to see my friends at least once a month and I'm happy this way. When I was a teen, I was telling anyone I don't have Facebook cause I was already seeing my friends all day at school and didn't see why I would need to see them after; that was probably a big aplatonic sign lol. I still care about my friends and enjoy their company when they are around.

I personally never used a word for that before I entered the aro community when squishes are discussed a lot, and noticed that the way I felt about my friendships were different than other people. But that's probably because I have friends and never mind it.

 

Some other aplatonic people are not this way though and indeed don't want or need friendships. Usually they value alone time but not necessarily, they can enjoy other type of relationship, like familial or romantic (cause yes, there are people who are aplatonic but alloromantic). They also usually have a stronger bond with this term than I do as it impacts their platonic relationships more. For instance I read a lot of stories about aplatonic being pressured as kids to form friendships even if they didn't want to and prefered alone time, cause their parents were concerned about it.

 

As aromanticism it is a spectrum, so you find a lot of different experiences.

Edited April 10, 2023 by nonmerci

[BasicallyEmoPotato]

4 hours ago, nonmerci said:

It can be both. Personally I don't have squishes, but I still have friends (I suppose you can call me platonic-favorable). It can be more difficult to keep the friendships as the lack of attraction leads to a "out of sight out of mind" thing, but I tend to see my friends at least once a month and I'm happy this way. When I was a teen, I was telling anyone I don't have Facebook cause I was already seeing my friends all day at school and didn't see why I would need to see them after; that was probably a big aplatonic sign lol. I still care about my friends and enjoy their company when they are around.

I personally never used a word for that before I entered the aro community when squishes are discussed a lot, and noticed that the way I felt about my friendships were different than other people. But that's probably because I have friends and never mind it.

 

Some other aplatonic people are not this way though and indeed don't want or need friendships. Usually they value alone time but not necessarily, they can enjoy other type of relationship, like familial or romantic (cause yes, there are people who are aplatonic but alloromantic). They also usually have a stronger bond with this term than I do as it impacts their platonic relationships more. For instance I read a lot of stories about aplatonic being pressured as kids to form friendships even if they didn't want to and prefered alone time, cause their parents were concerned about it.

 

As aromanticism it is a spectrum, so you find a lot of different experiences.

This is a very interesting reply. Thank you.

[hemogoblin]

I am aplatonic because the idea of building, having, and/or fostering friendships is exhausting and tiresome and I don't see any benefits to it.

This was the original meaning of aplatonic: one who was uncomfortable or exhausted by the idea of friendship. Over time, as it became more visible and more people began relating to the idea of it, the definition expanded and became more open to accommodate a greater amount of people who related to the term, and includes those who don't experience squishes/platonic attraction or have other non-typical attitudes and feelings about friendship.

[illumi]

i dont feel remotely attracted to my friends but i still befriend others bc i want to socialize. i find building friendships fun but all relationships hold the same value as me; hence why i just casually proposed qar with a friend i enjoy hanging with despite qar being a rather important relationship like a romantic 1. the aplatonic aspect of my orientation isnt that important to me personally; i dont have any strong feelings let alone attraction so i just go w the flow