On a book titled "Where The Heart Is" [spoliers]

[CatNap]

It's a book by Jo Knowles. It's about a girl who has a summer job taking care of animals, and there is a queer story-line. Somehow it always makes me reflect on myself. Like, when I read it, I feel disconnected from the romantic aspects, but can relate to the sensual aspects. It's my go to book when I have an identity crisis for some reason. I tend to re-read the queer parts, as I  reflect on myself, and this time it had me wondering up something good. Like there was a part where someone is talking about fluidity with orientation.

I know the answer to one of the questions, but I'll ask anyway:

Do you believe in fluidity?  Is it possible for one's orientation to remain static throughout life, since that seems to be the case with some people? Does fluidity depend on the individual, like some people like a certain gender or genders, or none all throughout their lives, while others go from liking one gender or more than one, to like more than one or another gender, or perhaps liking no genders at all?

Is it normal to do this exact thing that I do with this book, that's kind of weird in my opinion?

These are the questions I've asked myself, and I thought I'd ask you.

The book seemed to cause me to have my doubts, and of course people have their doubts, but I spent time thinking/reflecting.

I also quite respect how the main character, and her *clears throat* crush aren't label people, and choose to just feel the way they feel, and don't label themselves. I want to be like that. I want to feel the way I feel without a label to get in my way. From my own experience, trying to put a label on myself caused more harm than good, and when I did go without a label, even though I thought a lot about it, I felt more free, yet bothered, since for some god forsaken reason I became obsessed with labeling myself. I would very much like to not be bothered by it.

As a character had said (and bear with me here, I'm trying to quote them from memory): "What's the point in labels, if they change anyway?"

Anyway, thanks for reading this useless mumbo jumbo.

Edited March 27, 2023 by The Lost One

[hemogoblin]

1 hour ago, The Lost One said:

Do you believe in fluidity? 

Yes. Not believing in it is a bit like not believing in gravity: you can have your opinion but it won't change reality.

1 hour ago, The Lost One said:

Is it possible for one's orientation to remain static throughout life, since that seems to be the case with some people?

Of course. Why wouldn't this be possible?

1 hour ago, The Lost One said:

Does fluidity depend on the individual, like some people like a certain gender or genders, or none all throughout their lives, while others go from liking one gender or more than one, to like more than one or another gender, or perhaps liking no genders at all?

Everything depends on individual. There is not one human characteristic or behavior you can think of that will apply to 100% of humans. There are people allergic to water or allergic to air or allergic to sun. There are people born missing organs and people born with extra organs. Many things you might expect to be the same for every human may be the same. There are very few things we can say all humans absolutely have in common and only then very general, like needing oxygen to survive.

2 hours ago, The Lost One said:

Is it normal to do this exact thing that I do with this book, that's kind of weird in my opinion?

Artists want to influence others when they create art. They want to touch your feelings. Make you question. Open your mind. That's pretty much the purpose of art. Why would it be weird that you connected with a piece of art in a meaningful way? That's exactly what we search out when we look for art. To feel something.

2 hours ago, The Lost One said:

I would very much like to not be bothered by it.

It's not easy, but you can work to get to this point. It's going to take dedicated mindfulness, though, and conscientious effort on your part. I can tell you it's possible from experience because I did this with my way of thinking around gender. It took years of practice before it came naturally, but it was 100% worth the effort to give me peace of mind a healthier way (for me!) of thinking.

[Holmbo]

Maybe you should look into relationship anarchy if you haven't already