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Does this fall under the arospec definition?

Guest Alex

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I’ve been questioning a lot whether I’m in the arospec or not for a while but I do happen to feel attraction of some sort. I look a lot of people at my school who seem attractive and imagine getting close to them and get the desire of becoming closer to them. The reason I question it is cuz although I like to imagine this things I feel very uncomfortable with people being flirty or too amicable towards me if we don’t know each other. 

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This will both feel liberating and entirely frustrating, but you're the only one who can answer this question. There is no clear line that solidly separates alloro from aro. There are messy, confusing, complicated gray areas, and people who fall in those areas may have very similar feelings and ultimately end up identifying on different ends of the spectrum for a variety of reasons.

The question is: do you feel this is an arospec experience? Answer this by considering:

  • Is aro a useful term for you?
  • Do you feel more drawn to ID'ing as aro or alloro?
  • Which label best helps you communicate your feelings?
  • Do you relate more to your alloro peers or to the aro community?
  • What do you want to ID as?

And the truth is that it may not be a clear A or B answer. Maybe you sometimes ID as aro and sometimes as alloro. That's fine! You can do that! There are no rules. More and more people have been playing with creating microlabels that clearly straddle this so called "line" between aro and alloro, such as laimoromantic, quoiromantic, aroallo-unsure, etc., although you can also find discussions at least as far back as 2005 about being semi-alloro/semi-aro.

Based on your description of your feelings, I would suggest you look into demiromantic and ARCromantic (one can be alloro and still experience romantic repulsion or aversion) and see if those help you understand your own feelings better or not.

Identity is your choice. Labels are just communicative tools. They are NOT meant to stick you into some rigid box. They are merely there to help you communicate a simplification of your feelings to others.

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If you feel like the term aromantic might suit you take it, try it out for a while, look into the community and different experiences, and see if it's really what you're looking for

As for what you've described, think seriously if you would be willing to approach a relationship with these people. There are a lot of aros who like romance in theory but not in practice. Think on whether you would be willing to ask them out or how you would react of they asked you out and analyse how that makes you feel

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I fully agree with @hemogoblin here. I would also add that you don't need anyone's permission but your own to ID as arospec, aromantic, or literally any other sexuality/identity term. You know your brain better than anyone else, and if a label is helpful and useful, then use it. You can't hurt anyone.

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