To fellow NBs, do you ever struggle to know where to sit?

[EternallyTBD]

I’m writing this after an instance of the aforementioned issue, please excuse my ranting. 
 

So as high schoolers, even in my limited freshman experience, we tend to separate into boys and girls. Cross country is usually a co-ed sport, so I have that going for me, but even we separate when we’re being social (which is often). We just had our end-of-season banquet tonight, and, as usual, we split into girls’ and boys’ tables. Because I’m afab society expects me to sit with the girls so I had an incredibly boring and rather dysphoric night glancing longingly at the very exciting looking boys’ table. But I’ve accidentally (long story) sat at the boys’ table and it didn’t feel any more right. 
 

Oh and just for reference, I am out as non-binary and wear my they/them pin EVERYWHERE, but I’ve also been out of questioning for only about 3 months and many people just don’t realize I’m trans. So nothing they do is to insult me personally, they just don’t know. 

[illumi]

most lgbtq inclusive schools only talks about binary trans folks such as trans men and trans women but they rarely talk about nonbinary people. im not out as nb nor do i want to in this school because i know damn well im going to feel alienated in a group of girls and boys so i just confirm to my agab until im an adult and free from such groupings

[alto]

Some psych wards are segregated by gender for some things, and those always make me uncomfortable.

[Acecream]

I'm not in school anymore but yeah, there are so many "ok which side do I want to join" moments in daily life. and it's still hard, bc I always feel to have the choice between a group where I don't feel secure and feel judged or a group where I feel like misgendering myself and being dysphoric :))

public spaces (yeah, not even queer public spaces) are never nonbinary-friendly unless they think EXPLICITLY of nonbinary people – and, sadly, most of them don't

 

@EternallyTDB I hope you'll find a way for your school! maybe you can just switch or ask (a) friend(s) to join you on the boys table to feel more comfortable?