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Do I need fixing?


ArrowAce
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basically, this girl came up to me a couple of minutes after I told my "friend" I was ace, didn't specify being aro. ANd this girl tried hitting on me in such a sexual way like that it genuinely frightened me. She basically came up to me and started like caressing my shoulders and doing some other sexual remarks and actions i.e. "meet me in the bathroom"  (yuck) it was bad enough like I thought something was wrong with me. She claimed she was "fixing me" and I should "give into it" and she kept saying that "this is better for you." 

I've already done a report to the schools principal, but that most likely won't go anywhere as school tends to say that the boys are just boys when a girl reports sexual harassment. However I (male) reporting this probably will seem strange as I "should like it".

 

 

This truly broke me, I don't know what to think. Any help will be nice.

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No, you do not need fixing. You aren’t broken, and what that girl did was horrible. No one should have to face such behaviour from anyone, that was pretty creepy. Also, I’m pretty sure it counts as non consensual sexual contact and sexual harassment. 

You did the right thing by taking action, hopefully the girl will face punishment for it and will be sanctioned. 

Was the friend that you mentioned in double-quotes that girl? I apologise if this is an insensitive question. 

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Reading this made my skin crawl. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, but a whole lot wrong with that girl. What is it with some people?! You did the right thing reporting this, but does your school have some sort of counselor? You mention previous complaints don't get picked up so if you have the possibility (and want to!) to take it further, maybe you should consider. Touching someone without their consent and making such remarks is nothing innocent, but sexual harassment.

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I mean first up you don't need fixing.

obvious is obvious but ace or not that behaviour is still shitty.  If I could justify an action i take towards another person because I say its better for that person, thats not good.

yeah, that stereotype that men 'should like it' is around and does hit a lot of guys. doesn't mean you will and, to borrow a phrase, 'no means no'. no amount of telling you that this is something you should like changes that.

To be honest, having been to a fair few clubs and bars in my time, not liking it when random women come up and hit on you is actually fairly common for a guy, especially if they go straight for contact and explicit demands to find a private space. that does come across as creepy or at least classless. i know there is a sort of unwritten culture that suggests guys should like that, and sure some do, but a lot dont want that. And if they dont and she doesn't back off, thats wrong on her part.

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1 hour ago, Storm_leopardcat said:

No, you do not need fixing. You aren’t broken, and what that girl did was horrible. No one should have to face such behaviour from anyone, that was pretty creepy. Also, I’m pretty sure it counts as non consensual sexual contact and sexual harassment. 

You did the right thing by taking action, hopefully the girl will face punishment for it and will be sanctioned. 

Was the friend that you mentioned in double-quotes that girl? I apologise if this is an insensitive question. 

No, some other girl in his friend group.

 

1 hour ago, Nix said:

but does your school have some sort of counselor?

yes it does.

44 minutes ago, The Gray Warlock said:

First of all, ditch your "friend." Secondly, you did the right thing. That is not acceptable. I'm sorry this experience made you feel so badly. But you can learn from it. Grow stronger, and don't ever let anyone devalue you.

I did, and this really hits hard :) I really needed this :) both for this post but also personal struggles :)

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