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Any coming out stories people wanna share?


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I've come out twice and luckily each was a positive reaction.The first was when I came out to my friend.I was really scared like shaking but I was also so excited.I came out over text and I told her and then she said she was leaning towards aromantic herself and that she supported me.It was so incredible and i can't put the joy I was feeling into words it was just the best thing i have ever experienced i was crying it was amazing.The second time was completely out of the blue.I was waiting for the bell to ring at the end of Math class and the girl I was working with asked me "so are your keychains the flags?" (I have my flags as beaded keychains) and i said "oh uh yeah they are" and she was really chill about it.I went to gym after so happy and shaking because it was so random.It made my day.Each time i have come out it feels like the most freeing and liberating thing ever.

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I came out to two of my closest friends 

It wasn't an aphobic reaction (thank goodness) but they ( or at least one of them) can't understand the arospec 

But they're really positive about it and theyre trying to learn so I'm really happy

 

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the first time i ever came out to my family about something is regarding my aroaceness since me personally think coming out as aroace is easier than coming out as for gay bi etc. my mom was invited by a friend and brought me along while her friend brought his son

i havent came out to her as transmasc just yet so she sees me as cisgender and because of typical heteronormativity ideals she started pairing me up with the boy [ironically he has a girlfriend already] and i just casually said im aroace so im not interested in any form of romantic relationships. she didnt have much of a reaction but she respected that and stopped shipping me with him

she has been pretty accepting of my orientation [i also came out to my dad and hes chill with it too] and i know damn well both my parents are not bigoted even before i came out. when they talked about my future love life they said i might get a boyfriend or a girlfriend and that theyre fine with either. now that i look back on it i couldnt be luckier to be born in an asian household thats not bigoted lmao

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On 9/30/2022 at 9:24 AM, sevan said:

now that i look back on it i couldnt be luckier to be born in an asian household thats not bigoted lmao

Asian household, eh? Didn’t know you were Asian, @sevan! Depending on whether your family is religious or not, I think they would generally take you coming out as AroAce easier, as compared to trans masculine. Good to hear they took it well!

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My best friend knows, she occasionally asks questions about it, and we discuss our experiences and feelings, as well as attractions. She’s fairly curious.

Another friend-acquaintance knows, but did not understand the terms I used, and completely misunderstood what I meant due to cultural differences. 

My cousin (who is Pakistani but is also British as she grew up there) took it well, and supported me and reassured me. She probably took it well due to her being exposed to the LGBTQIA+ community/movement and having more experiences with it, and with its members. And probably because of the culture she grew up in, and because she’s just nice, her personality contributed too. 

And of course, my twin sister knows. She’s more or less the same as my best friend that way. Doesn’t think of it as a big deal and doesn’t treat it like a big deal either. We do discuss it at times, and she asks questions about it. End of story.

I don’t like using term the term ‘coming out’. Nor thinking of sexual and romantic orientations as identities*. I also don’t like using terms like ‘asexual’ or ‘aromantic’ or ‘AroAce’. 

Edited by Storm_leopardcat
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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm out to most people as enby, have only mentioned that I'm ace to my mom and no one irl knows that I'm aroace (yet... things will change very soon, and that might be a fun story). 

Most of my family got to know it by me making a messenger group and telling them that I'm enby, they do what they want with that information. Went fairly well, most was accepting but also some of them didn't answer. My grandma on dad's side leaved the group lol. Whatever, I don't need her. That was a fun experience.

My dad doesn't believe in it, my mom is accepting. 

My irl friend/acquaintance (old classmate) was also cool about it. Pretty much "Oh, okay, good then I know that 👍"

The teachers also know, and most of them is good about it. My tutor is amazing. 

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Allos make me unwilling/uncomfortable to come out as aro or especially ace bc the have weird assumptions of what my orientation(s) mean. not directly after my coming out to them but in little comments they make afterwards in different situations

anyway

cn arophobia

my first (active) coming out as aro was kinda bad. I told one of my best friends and they were like: "nah I don't believe you bc you have just a loving and caring personality! therefore you can't be aromantic"

(they learned a lot since I came out to them but I felt really bad afterwards. it's literally the "Aros are not human/aros are heartless"-trope, just in a "nicer" way)

I say it's my first active coming out bc I kinda came out earlier to the same person, but I was totally drunk and just crying that I think that I would never be able to love and I don't think they took me seriously that time

I had a very nice coming out talk (as aroace) with a flatmate, we just talked more than a hour so I was able to make thinks clear and it was really cool!

My sister was very curious (in a positive way) about my aspec identities but cried a lot when I came out to her as enby

Best "reaction" to an outing as aro was a friend who didn't really comment it at all, but she made it really clear that she understood and supports me through many little actions/comments/presents since then <3 <3 <3

 

I'm out as trans enby to all the people I interact with in my daily life and to my closer family but I'm only out as aro and ace(spec?) to my closest family and a few friends. My sensual attraction (something on the m-spec, I don't really know how to label it. it's kinda every gender but more likely towards girls or nonbinary and/or agender people) is something I spoke only to like 3 or 4 people. that's mainly bc I'm afraid people would either not understand what for me the difference between sensual attraction and being physically close to friends/people is (bc for me it's a HUGE difference) or that people would use my sensual attraction to question my asexuality

Edited by Acecream
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I'm not going to worry about coming out about being aro. I'll tell if asked, if it comes up in conversation, or I believe someone needs to know. Otherwise I don't think it's anyone's business. 

I can tell another kind of coming out story though. It was when my mom found out about my being into the occult. She freaked the fuck out! We were all just out of the JWs and I was still at home. My brother and I each rebelled against the indoctrination in our own way. Him by drinking, partying and raising hell. Me by delving into spiritualities that encouraged self-empowerment. I was especially interested in magick and paganism and discovered Wicca (the gateway drug!). I had a book called "The Wiccan Mysteries" that she found one day rooting around in my room. It's a 350 page book that has one short chapter about sexual rites, but she turned to that part first because of course she did!

Now there's two things to understand. 1, Even though none of us had stepped into a Kingdom Hall in a couple of years, mom was still in that headspace. 2. It was also the tail end of the 90s when the Satanic Panic was winding down. Look it up kids. If you think today's conspiracy theories are batshit you ain't seen nothin'! There were news stories all over the place about secret cabals of Devil worshippers targeting youth for all and sundry nefarious purposes, and my mom swallowed every bit of it. I'd like to take a moment to say there's a reason Xers were the first generation to stop trusting mainstream media. So, how do you think it went over? A Satanophobic mother convinced there's diobolaters everywhere finding a book on witchcraft rites in her introverted son's room? Answer: It didn't. It was a firestorm.

Fortunately, my brother the hellraiser was dating a girl who was a Wiccan, and I was already friends with her at that point, that my mom really liked and got along with. They're still friends to this day in fact. She was able to help me help my mom understand that this wasn't anything harmful, but very positive. I think it also served as the beginning of mom's deconditioning, so it ultimately has a happy ending. The irony of it was I was losing interest in Wicca and was getting into Ceremonial Magick and learning who Aleister Crowley was. And then 7 years later I accidentally left out a piece of paper with some hand written notes headed "prayers to Satan"...

So what does this have to do with the topic? I have a good deal of sympathy for people with non-normative orientations or identities who are facing an unaccepting social environment. I know what it's like to have a part of who you are not be accepted by those close to you.

 

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