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Need help figuring out how to keep my community safe


DaviM703
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Cw: Sexual abuse

There is this person in my local queer community, who recently moved from a town in the next county over that's within commuting distance and that I know many people in, who it is becoming more and more obvious is a dangerous sexual predator. A survivor from the town where the person used to live has gone very public with it in first a TikTok video and recently a much more detailed letter posted on Facebook. I have heard specific stories from other survivors of this person as well and have no doubt the person really is a sexual predator. To make matters significantly worse, the person runs a Discord server for queer nudist meetups which gives her easy access to people who may not know her in their most vulnerable state. I have tried to warn people about this, but the person and people close to her have tried to gaslight me into thinking I and the most vocal survivor are engaged in targeted harassment, and when all I had heard was someone's personal story they didn't want to make public, I tried talking to other people in the server to warn them without being specific and they accused me of sounding transphobic since the individual in question happens to be a trans woman. Further, this person seems to be a lot more popular and with a lot more close connections in the local queer community than me. Feel nervous messaging more people from that Discord server after how negative of responses I got, but this detailed Facebook letter is a lot more information than just suggesting the person might not be safe to hang out with. Anyone have any ideas how I can help people stay safe and stop this person from harming more unsuspecting people in nude hangouts?

Edited by DaviM703
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I'm sorry to hear this. It's good that you're trying to reach out about this. I don't have any first hand experience with this, ideally it would be handled in court but I assume it has not come to that. I think if you're going to convince people you need help from the survivors. If they can add their witness to the Facebook letter you could send it to discord and they might temporary shut down the discord server. 

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First of all I'd like to say I'm proud of you for having the courage to speak out despite the dangers. Being an abuse victim myself I can tell you abusers often have a narcissistic profile, and narcissists are good at getting themselves into a protected position in whatever social structure they occupy. In fact it's not unusual for narcissists to gather a kind of "mini cult" around themselves who will try anything to shut down or silence their attackers. I'm sorry to say if you're intent on fighting this battle you're probably going to take a lot of shit for it. Perseverance will be key, as will be getting as much help as possible from anyone willing to take your side. The good news is in time they eventually expose themselves. But be careful, predators are the most dangerous when backed into a corner. Oh, and if you must engage with this person in some way, always without exception make the engagement as public as possible. NEVER agree to anything private, online or irl. I wish you luck.

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2 hours ago, Holmbo said:

I don't have any first hand experience with this, ideally it would be handled in court but I assume it has not come to that.

No charges were pressed, so obviously there won't be a trial. I understand negative attitude towards law enforcement. But if perps are not even charged ever, they will feel totally emboldened.

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59 minutes ago, DeltaV said:

No charges were pressed, so obviously there won't be a trial. I understand negative attitude towards law enforcement. But if perps are not even charged ever, they will feel totally emboldened.

I assumed so but I can't see OP having written specifically that no changes have been pressed.

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The only charges I know of being pressed were when the person was still a minor by the now most vocal survivor who at the time was most concerned about not ruining her life not thinking about how many other lives she was ruining and underreported it only reporting anything after their dad found out something had happened and made them file a report. Given that this person specifically was trying not to ruin her life at the time, it seems especially vicious that she and her partner claim this person was engaged in targeted harassment for 7 years or since 2014 at which time the person was only 12-13. Having read that person's whole 8-page letter on Facebook and also heard from other survivors, I would believe Trump's claims about Dominion voting machines before I would believe someone that young started a malicious targeted harassment campaign against an innocent person several years older and kept it up through all the increases in maturity of SEVEN WHOLE YEARS.

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Sadly this is beyond my expertise. Contacting Discord is better than nothing (does the staff there really have the time to read FB posts and corroborate their authenticity?). But this is very likely going to continue until new charges are brought against her.

Sorry, for this useless post. But I didn't want to just quietly go away from this thread.

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