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am I really aroace, or am I deluding myself?


Guest cricket, they/it
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Guest cricket, they/it

lately, I have been wondering to myself, 'am i really aroace?'

i know i /dont/ feel romantic and sexual attraction...

but my issue is that i want to do things that are like, commonly linked to romantic acts, like cuddling, hand holding, and, heck, maybe even kissing, as long as there's no attraction behind it. like, I want to do these societal norms, but with someone I care about, but not in a romantic/sexual sense, but more in a sensual one?

can I even do that???

i know that you can do that in a queer platonic relationship, but, i still can't help but think that i'm in the wrong here, 'cause most people keep telling me as an aroace I am supposed to feel no attraction and that sort of stuff.

 

please help :')

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If you don't feel romantic or sexual attraction then yeah you're aroace. But as an Aromantic you can still be affectionate you just have to make sure the people you are affectionate with understand your intentions and boundaries.Just because you're aro does not mean you can't hug,kiss,cuddle you just don't care about anything romantic.And who cares if these things are described as "romantic" you do what you wanna do and if it makes you happy do it.I did do some research on https://www.aromanticism.org and found that you could be an AroAce who experiences sensual attraction.Though I recommend doing some research of your own and finding out what there is and seeing if anything else fits your situation.I hope this helps.Be proud of who you are. :)

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Even if you don't feel attraction you can still enjoy romantic or sexual acts. It's just you don't feel attraction to do them with a specific person. Kinda like an asexual person could still enjoy the act of sex because of the physical sensation. They just don't feel sexually attracted to the person.

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I think a lot of acts of love differ from each culture. certain things are seen as romantic or sexual in some places are just seen as platonic in others. most things aren't inherently sexual or romantic. 

I often hold hands and cuddle with my best friend. I'm aroace and she's straight. There are zero implications other than platonic love. 

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You can fundamentally always do whatever the hell you want with your own life! labels aren't supposed to limit your possibilities. being aroace means a lot of different things to many different people. all it means, by definition, is the abscense of sexual and romantic attraction. wowie there you go, that sure sounds like you from what I hear!

many aros are in relationships that go beyond the conventional definitions of romance and if you find someone who wants to cuddle, hold hands and kiss you even though you're not romantically into each other, and this seems like a sweet deal to you, that's fantastic! please don't let random people online or offline tell you what you're allowed to feel

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