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Posted

So in school everyone has been dating each other and I have never seen the point I would much rather spend my time actually focusing on school and my other interests.But the problem is me and this boy talk to each other in like 1-2 classes and everytime we are near each other people always say we should get together.I did not see myself dating him or anyone and it bothered me that people were so insistent that we date.He did not want to date either so that was good.Now that I have figured out i'm aromantic it makes things a little easier but it still bothers me.I'm not sure if this made any sense at all but I was wondering if anyone had a similar experience with people acting like this or just advice on how to ignore them?

Posted

At my school, there was this one girl who basically shipped me and one of my close friends. We couldn't talk to each other in front of her sometimes, because she'd be like "aw, this is why you're such a great couple!" eventually she stopped saying that kind of thing, but it was really annoying while it lasted. I have no idea why she decided to stop doing it, so while I can't help you solve it, I can empathise with you.

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Posted

I assume you mean elementary or high school? In my experience, around puberty kids tend to get obsessed with relationships not so much necessarily because they actually want them, but because society tells them they're supposed to care about them. At that age, romance is seen as cool and mature, thus liking romance is also seen as cool and mature, and thus to some degree people go on about romance in order to prove how Cool And Mature they are. Which doesn't make it less annoying of course, but my point is, they're really just doing it for the attention. Give it a few years and people will be too busy crying from the stress of college applications to care as much about relationships.

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Posted

Yeah, I've experienced a bit of that.
There was this one guy in one of my classes and we always got paired up in a group because our surnames were next to each other on the roster. Eventually, about halfway through the school year, my teacher allowed for free seating and pairing up with people for projects. I usually paired up with the guy, he was nice, we got along (and he was also the only person I knew in that class). I explained my orientation to him, and he was accepting and didn't have any feelings towards me. Since we usually paired up the entire year, a couple of his friends and some "popular girls" started saying that "you two would look so cute together!!" and stuff like that. It just... made me really uncomfortable and I didn't understand the hype around romance and having a relationship. My classmate, knowing I was aroace, tried to get his friends to lay off but they just kept making side remarks about it. Eventually we stopped pairing up to stop this, and I started joining a group with a different friend of mine who had transferred into my class. I'm still friends with the dude, we just don't pair up in class unless required by the teacher.

So yeah, idk why romance is such a big thing at schools but i can totally get where you're coming from.

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Posted

I've had a couple of situation in highschool where either someone noticed that I looked at someone more than normal, or that I sent really long texts (I write disertations on normal mesengers lol) and told me they suspected I had a crush on them, or things like that. I would then think to myself that "maybe I do", and retroactively convince myself that they were my crush because i felt good thinking about the idea of having a crush, and mistook that for actual romantic love.

There was also the fact that the person others "shipped" me with the most came out themselves as arroace, which was quite a stroke of luck.

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Posted
22 hours ago, Jot-Aro Kujo said:

I assume you mean elementary or high school? In my experience, around puberty kids tend to get obsessed with relationships not so much necessarily because they actually want them, but because society tells them they're supposed to care about them. At that age, romance is seen as cool and mature, thus liking romance is also seen as cool and mature, and thus to some degree people go on about romance in order to prove how Cool And Mature they are. Which doesn't make it less annoying of course, but my point is, they're really just doing it for the attention. Give it a few years and people will be too busy crying from the stress of college applications to care as much about relationships.

I definitely agree with this, even I was obsessed with relationships at middle school age because of society.

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