How do you explain being aro to new cis-het-allo friends?

[boba]

I'll go first. In the beginning, I don't tell them I'm romantic explicitly. I've tried in the past, and you just see their minds trying to conjure this impossible, new, radical concept. 

Now, I say, "I don't really catch feels." Most of the time, it's followed up with, "Wait. What? You've never had a crush?" And I'll shake my head. Some people don't even ask, they just roll with it. 

Then a few conversations later, I may introduce the term. But I've found this hilarious bro-language of "I don't catch feels" to be very effective.

[Collie]

I don't usually bother unless they're in-the-know on LGBTQ+ labels. I've had co-workers ask me if I have a boyfriend or girlfriend, I say no, they ask if I want one, I say no, they say for real, I say yup.

[Deltalorian]

I usually say something along the lines of "romance just isn't for me/what I'm looking for."

[Holmbo]

For me it rare I'm asked. Do you bring it up or does it come up naturally?

[boba]

On 6/14/2022 at 12:55 PM, Holmbo said:

For me it rare I'm asked. Do you bring it up or does it come up naturally?

I am not sure what it is, but yes. Oddly enough, people do ask. Or, like, they make comments. In the past month, I've had at least 2 people inquire why I don't have a boyfriend (As if they cannot comprehend me not having one at all.) And then one girl, who I recently met, told me "You are the most anti-boy person I know!"

??? I thought this was normal for aro people ??? 

[glypharia.exe]

Most of my friends were familiar with the label I use, but there was one of my friends who asked what an aroace was and my response went like this:
"Can you put flowers in acid?"   "...No?"   "Exactly. I am the acid and everyone else are the flowers. We are simply not compatible."

[Holmbo]

8 hours ago, boba said:

??? I thought this was normal for aro people ??? 

It might just be cultural differences. In Sweden "mind your own business" is basically the national moto.

[boba]

On 6/21/2022 at 3:57 AM, glypharia.exe said:

Most of my friends were familiar with the label I use, but there was one of my friends who asked what an aroace was and my response went like this:
"Can you put flowers in acid?"   "...No?"   "Exactly. I am the acid and everyone else are the flowers. We are simply not compatible."

this is hilarious. I love it 

[Holmbo]

Today my romantic orientation actually came up (I think the guy asking wants to date me). I told him I don't date and that I'm happy solo. Later I mentioned aromanticism of hand but I don't know if he knows what it means, he didn't ask about it it commented on the term specifically.

Edited June 25, 2022 by Holmbo

[boba]

On 6/25/2022 at 11:09 AM, Holmbo said:

Today my romantic orientation actually came up (I think the guy asking wants to date me). I told him I don't date and that I'm happy solo. Later I mentioned aromanticism of hand but I don't know if he knows what it means, he didn't ask about it it commented on the term specifically.

sometimes, I worry that they think I said, "I am a romantic." vs. the legit, "I'm aromantic."

 

[Holmbo]

3 hours ago, boba said:

sometimes, I worry that they think I said, "I am a romantic." vs. the legit, "I'm aromantic."

 

That's not a problem for me since English is not my native language