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Does this sound like aromanticism?

Guest Confused gay


Guest Confused gay

I've been learning about aromanticism lately and I'm not sure if I experience it or not. I am proudly a lesbian and on the asexual spectrum and have no intention of replacing these labels. I just want to know more about whether or not I might be aro too.

I sometimes get crushes on people but they tend to die out of we actually start dating. I don't even have the "honeymoon" phase. It's like as soon as the crush is mutual I don't really have feelings for the person anymore. Crushes are also rare, I've had maybe three in the past 5 or so years. 

I always wanted to get married and live with a partner but in hindsight I never wanted this to be what people seem to consider romantic love. It's more out of wanting someone who cares about me to be a part of my life forever. It doesn't make a lot of difference in my head if this is a friend or a partner. In fact, right now the person I want that with is explicitly not a romantic partner, it's my best friend. And I know for sure that I don't have a crush on her or any other romantic feelings. 

I do feel some sexual attraction but it's not tied to who I have a crush on or am dating. I've dated people I had no sexual interest in and I have people I'd never want to date who I'd be comfortable having a sexual relationship with. I am on the ace spectrum though and know I don't experience sexual attraction in a typical way. It's pretty rare for me overall so I say I'm grey-ace.

I'm not uncomfortable with people having romantic feelings for me, other than being worried about what will happen if I can't reciprocate. If someone wanted to date and I really liked their company, I would do so as long as they were okay with me possibly not feeling romantic toward them in the long run.

I also don't really understand the difference between friendship and romance. I love my friends a lot and want to go places with them, buy them presents, celebrate special moments, etc. All the things you're only "supposed" to do with your romantic partner. 

So my question is, does this sound like someone who might be aromantic? Or does it sound like something else?

I know at the end of the day it's for me to realize, but having input from aro people would help a lot. 

Thanks 💖

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